Kirby's Allies
by Fiona Fargazer
Summary: (Anime-verse) How Susie, King Dedede with Escargoon (and others) become Kirby's allies in a show-version of Kirby Star Allies. This story also first incorporates the games Planet Robobot and Squeak Squad.
1. Chapter 1

JMJ

_Note from Fiona Fargazer: This is a story based on a series of in-person roll-plays in which I was Escargoon and Starscout-lost (Deviant Art if you wanna find her) was Susie and another person without an account I can link to as King Dedede. I have written about half way through the story and it's gunna be pretty long. I may have to separate it into more than one fic eventually but I'll have to wait and see._

* * *

"This story is narrated by the only writer we could find, so we can't expect _Great Expectations_ or anything," Escargoon says to you over your computer or other device, "and it's hosted by yours truly, Escargoon, and I'll do my best to pour my heart out!"

**One: Invitation to Déjà Vu**

_The sun shone bright and pleasantly hot. The sea breeze felt just right to keep the heat from being unbearable, and the humidity could not have been more comfortable. For so many centuries Dream Land must have had days on end of such pleasantness. The reigns of kings from the founding of the kingdom could not have had a more pleasant existence. No war or famine or terrible politics or horrible monsters parading through walls and trying to crush bouncy, pink, baby-talking superheroes._

_Often I have wondered to myself how it was that I, out of all time periods of the peaceful dreamy history of Dream Land in which no child in history class could stay awake for and not have peaceful dreams besides, had to live in the time period I did live in. All the wars and conflicts and famine and frosts all happened on other kingdoms on other planets, not mine. Not mine until my life when I was born, even if I'm not exactly from Dream Land, the countries all around are the same way._

_Even my own family had lived for generations in a life that never changed in its happy peacefulness until I had gotten it into my head, after a strange occurrence (by chance or fate) in which my father died before his time, that I would make money enough to up our place and standing in the world for my mother and I. We are a family of only snails, after all. Garden snails besides. No one before my time would think of leaving the comforts of garden or (in my case) field for a different life, but the strangeness, of course, was not destined to end there for me, my family, or the whole of Pop Star for that matter._

_Oh, woe to living in a time like this, I would sometimes think when I allowed such things on my mind, a time when I had found myself lying to my own mother, lying to my own self about my own involvement in destroying my own world in loyalty and dignity in one's own station gone awry. Except in my time period who could say that there could be anything wrong in a place like Dream Land to have loyalty and dignity? But I had to be the one tested in my time period until I lost more than both. My time, the reign of His Majesty King Dedede's time, Kirby's time. NME's time. Meh! Whatever time you want to call it, but it is the time I live in and the time in the end that I had to accept, and honestly actually learned to appreciate._

_How could I one day be counted as a warrior fighting by His Majesty's side, after all? I can hardly believe that I leapt into battle fighting black shadowy versions of Waddle Dees and all as a true ally of Kirby and as a true servant of the king. Or that a king as ruthless as he was brainless could one day become everything that his subjects longed him to be—almost. We can't have everything perfect, after all, but to know that these times were the best thing for him in the end makes them worthwhile in my mind. It gave him a chance to prove to the world as well as to himself that he could be more than a lazy selfish dictator and tool of evil intergalactic schemes. Sure the times also earlier maybe encouraged him eviler than he might have been without Nightmare Enterprises' influence, but they sure gave him ample opportunity to make up for it. After all that is what this account is about, but I'm getting way too ahead of myself. It's a long and complicated story._

_Back to that lovely day._

_Fortunately for my mental and psychological wellbeing, all such epic thoughts were the furthest things from my mind that fine morning, even if it did cross my mind after a yawn to break last night's cobwebs that this was just the sort of morning to start something unexpected, but I quickly brushed it away. Nothing had happened in Dream Land for two years more than the local jail bird kleptomaniac Doron escaping and giving Chief Bookem something to do, and I expected it to stay that way._

_Like I said, nothing except King Dedede's great, great grandfather taking over Dream Land (and even that was a very non-violent and actually wanted occurrence which we may have more time to explain later) had ever happened in the history of Dream Land or any of the countries around before that thing with Nightmare Enterprises and nothing in Dream Land was supposed to happen. Things were back to normal in the long scheme of things, or so I thought. I could not say that though a silvery, holographic envelope was not interesting enough, I hardly expected it to change our lives… again._

_Not everyone was overly content about these peaceful times anyway. At least, not by this time. Two years for some people is a long time for something not to happen. I liked it. I got a lot of reading done that I had not been able to do for some time and I finished a few personal projects when I was not doing my job, of course, but His Majesty, King Dedede has that way about him that if he isn't kept entertained then he'll eventually have to entertain himself. Last time that happened the whole world had nearly come to an end, or the whole universe maybe, but I was in too good of a mood to let it be dampened by the king's sour mood that morning. In fact I could not help but tease him about it—or jab it to him. Whatever…_

#

"Good morning, Your Majesty," Escargoon announced in his most boisterously cheerful tone.

King Dedede grumped over his breakfast and still looked half asleep like some great bear waking slowly from hibernation. He shoved a very large forkful of something very beefy and full of eggs into his beak. Such a massive bite of food required Dedede opening it all the way to fit everything in, and he still got some sauce on his face. He glared unpleasantly at his servant.

"Cheer up, Sire!" said Escargoon. "After all, you've finally resettled the nation's budget since all that going into debt with those monsters and everything, y'know? Look here! I brought you the mail!"

He had taken it from a Waddle Dee to see if there was anything for him; he was a little bored himself, though he would not have liked to admit it. There had not been anything for him, but such was life.

Waving up the mail for the king to see, Escargoon grinned and added, "Looks like a new company is offering you a catalogue. Maybe they have some kind of big-boy toy you could cheer yourself up with. Haltmann Works Company."

Dedede looked with interest as the shiny glint of the holographic envelope caught his eye. For a split second it annoyed him, but as he saw what it was he lit up and snatched it eagerly so that it shimmered alternately from orange to pink.

"Looks mighty stuffed too and good quality!" said King Dedede, and he sniffed the envelope. "Hey! It even smells expensive!" He ripped it open and tossed it aside to reveal the very shiny sliver of a silvery handheld device. He frowned and glared at it shaking it a little. "What is it?" he demanded.

"An electronic pad?" said Escargoon with a shrug.

"It's pretty advanced whatever it is, how does it turn on?" asked Dedede fully interested now and up from his seat pacing with his prize.

Turning it this way and that he tried to find a button.

"Maybe it's voice-activated," said Escargoon.

"Good thinking. Hmm. 'On'!" Dedede ordered.

Nothing happened.

King Dedede frowned. "I said 'on' you stupid machine."

"Careful, Your Majesty, you might break it."

"You can't break something that doesn't work to begin with!" growled Dedede punching Escargoon's eyes.

Escargoon moaned and rubbed the tops of them and sulked grumpily.

Then the king smacked the device onto the table so that his hand was on top of the pad and a rather pleasant electronic opening fanfare led the way for a female voice suddenly saying, "This Message is activated".

After standing stiff and surprised for a few seconds, king and servant hurriedly rushed to look at the little device, but they did not need to fear being able to see. The image became quite clear of a life-sized person coming upright out of it. A robot-like person or person-like robot or whatever she was stood, or rather hovered as she had no feet, very properly without a mouth but with deep blue eyes and long lashes.

"Greetings to His Majesty King Dedede of Dream Land on the planet Popstar," she said with a humble bow. When she rose she continued, "My name is Susie, secretary of Haltmann Works Company."

It was so lifelike that after Dedede and Escargoon exchanged glances, they both wondered if she truly had been teleported in front them.

"What's the big idea coming here uninvited on my breakfast table!?" King Dedede demanded.

Escargoon quickly saw otherwise, however and glancing at the king briefly he swiped his hand through the image, and it flickered just a little as his hand went through.

"Huh?" Dedede blinked and turned roughly to Escargoon.

"It's just a hologram," Escargoon muttered importantly.

"_Hmph_, I knew that," snorted Dedede. "I almost had you fooled too!" And he laughed darkly.

Meanwhile the form over the table went on speaking because she was only a recording and did not know that they were not listening. With pink sparkles and cheery noises behind her, she spoke of a grand company of advanced robotics and modern conveniences, but as the pair settled down Dedede grew very interested again. Escargoon thought it very impressive as well; though there was something about the Secretary that got under his skin somehow as she properly but very cheerfully spoke with every little electronic heart and sparkle added to the add.

Music played from the device as well as background sound, and it was admittedly rather catchy for a commercial jingle.

"We are at the moment," said Susie, "attempting to broaden our horizons with customers further out than our system, and we, our team of scientists under the benevolent order of our founder Mr. Haltmann, feel it our duty to the universe to provide access to all peoples our advancements, which are clean, easy to use, and make life easier for everyone. Purifying life to the utmost of its extent while making life easier for the inhabitants, is our goal. Water, air, soil—in everything we must preserve order and cleanliness for a better life and a better tomorrow."

"Ah, it's started to get boring, Escargoon," waved Dedede with one hand cupping his chin and elbow on the table from where he had sat down again in his chair. "Where's the fast forward button so we can see all those robots and modern conventions she was teasing us with?"

"Just wait a moment, Sire," Escargoon said.

"We know that Dream Land," said Susie, "and the Planet Popstar, while a place boundless in resources and beauty, is advancing at a more gradual rate than some, and even those advancements are somewhat harmful such as the exhaust from the limited vehicles and waste management programs."

Dedede frowned with a huff.

"She _is_ getting a little preachy, isn't she, Your Majesty? We better hide this from Tiff."

"Tiff?" snapped Dedede. "Who cares about Tiff? I want this saleswoman off of my table! She's ruining my delicate appetite!"

And he swiped it off with one great swipe of his hand.

Escargoon made a face but did not get the chance to make any sort of comment about anything being delicate in the case of King Dedede except maybe the delicate balance of his temper, but before he could, Dedede roared: "What's the big idea bringing this load of hooey in here, Escargoon?!"

"Eh! Don't blame me, Sire!" gasped Escargoon jumping back away from the chair with hands held in front of him in case of a blow. "The Waddle Dees brought it in here!"

Standing upright in his chair, Dedede grabbed Escargoon by the eyestalk now. With a yelp from the snail, Dedede shook him violently as he growled, "I thought someone was supposed to screen my mail so I don't have to see junk mail like this! A king shouldn't be bothered with this kinda spam, you hear!?"

"Yes, of course, Your Majesty," Escargoon whimpered, "but first could you please let go of me?"

Dedede grabbed his mallet. "_Rrrrr_!"

Escargoon shrunk back as well as he could being gripped into position as he was.

But just before the king gave his servant a good wallop for making a sour mood worse , he paused as he heard the words, "…that is why our trial is absolutely free for the ruler with no hidden costs. As I've said we firmly believe in making the universe a better place for all!"

Dedede and Escargoon blinked at each other with mallet still in Dedede's hand and Escargoon's eyestalk still in the king's fist.

"Absolutely free?" they repeated in disbelief.

The gadget was on its face so they could not see the Secretary's holographic form, but her voice still sounded strong. Quickly Dedede dropped a moaning Escargoon onto the floor and flipped the device back over. He held the holographic figure in his hands first upside-down and then right-side up as she went on.

"As we do need funds to continue our work, this generous offer of our founder Mr. Haltmann cannot extend to the rest of any said state aside from the ruler interested in our services, but we do extend plenty of deals to all of our customers. Much of the money we receive is also given back to the government as donations to allow the state to continue thriving economically."

"Hey, that means I'd get some of the profit!" exclaimed Dedede suddenly grinning.

"I don't know, Your Majesty," said Escargoon with care behind him. "It sounds like a scam to me."

"Don't be stupid, Escargoon! She said there was no hidden fees!"

"There's something I don't like about that secretary."

"And since when do you like anybody, Escargoon?" snorted Dedede with amusement, and he laughed.

"…If you are interested in our trial or would like to learn more please contact us immediately with the number provided, and we will be overjoyed, Your Majesty, to build a store in your community and aid you in any way that we can to help you with your new equipment varying from appliances to help with daily chores to the best recreational conveniences that money can buy."

"Hey, did you see that hovercraft!" gasped Dedede. "Sleekest thing I ever did see!"

"I have to admit that those electronic notebooks sure would be nice to have too to keep everything in order around here and some of that space-aged furniture," said Escargoon tapping his chin thoughtfully. "Not to mention the fact that all these modern conveniences are monster free unlike the sort of 'conveniences' that you had to order from Nightmare—"

"Ah! Forget Nightmare Enterprises! I'm gunna make a law against mentioning them!" snarled Dedede. "I'm gunna get me one of those Haltmann stores built in Cappy Town ASIP! Get that number down."

"Yes, Sire, sure thing," said Escargoon nodding rigorously and quickly did as he was told.

#

"A store?" complained Tiff at the dinner table when the cabinet minister shared the news with his family.

"What kind of a store?" asked Tuff genuinely curious.

"I don't know exactly," Sir Ebrum admitted, "but they apparently are a very advanced lot at the Haltmann Works Company. They say they have the most advanced scientific discoveries the universe has ever known and that they wish to share these advancements with those less fortunate."

"Well, it does _sound_ nice, darling," said Lady Like thoughtfully. "I mean it is hard to trust King Dedede, but if they really mean what they say…"

But Tiff refused to be optimistic.

"This is just another scam that Dedede's in on," she said firmly. "I don't care how advanced they are, if Dedede builds a huge store in the middle of Cappy Town just think how it will ruin the town! It's just a way to get money, I bet!"

"Please, Tiff, you really ought to refer to the king with his proper title," said Lady Like.

Tiff sighed. "Sorry, 'King' Dedede."

Tuff chuckled and Kirby who was joining them for the meal piped up happily, "Poyo! Poyo!" in between popping little buns into his mouth.

"Now, dear," said Sir Ebrum gently, "no one said anything about a super store. From what I understand there won't be any real renovations to the town needed to install it. It's just a trial run anyway."

"Knowing King Dedede, he'll make something bad come out of it even if the Haltmann people don't have bad intentions," muttered Tiff.

"Yeah, but, Tiff, do you really think he'd be that stupid to fall for another evil company again?" asked Tuff. "I mean, we all know he's stupid, but he can't be _that_ stupid."

"Well, Tuff, you know that he never was a quick learner His Majesty," Sir Ebrum had to admit rubbing his chin.

Having finished his plate of buns while the others were talking, Kirby looked around rather anxiously for more, but everyone was far too busy in the conversation to notice him.

"At least it can't be anything from Nightmare Enterprises," said Tuff cheerfully. "We beat them so hard that they're never coming back, right Kirby?"

Interrupted in his search for more food Kirby brightened to be brought into the conversation and happily agreed.

"I'm not saying that there's gunna be monsters," said Tiff. "I'm just saying that whatever's going on, it's just gunna be a disaster."

"Now, dear," said Sir Ebrum. "King Dedede is the king and he makes the decisions, and as good citizens we must believe him innocent until proven guilty now that the Nightmare Enterprises fiasco has passed."

"Really?" asked Tuff.

"Yes, it's only proper," said Sir Ebrum. "He hasn't done anything all that detrimental or ill-intentioned since the monster incident, and I believe he has learned his lesson."

Tiff sighed. "I guess."

"And anyway," said Sir Ebrum then quite staunchly. "If it does turn out to be something bad, though, I'm sure it'll turn out alright in the end. After all, as you said, there are no monsters anymore, and I feel that Cappy Town can handle anything less, especially with Kirby on our side. Even though it was two years ago now since NME was destroyed, I still feel invigorated that we can take on any challenge met with, so that no silly store can stop us in the end."

Tiff blinked. She had known her father all her life, of course, but somehow it still always surprised her when he showed that pluck and courage hidden behind his foppish exterior. He just was not about to get excited until something proved amiss, which was a good thing, and she had to admit that he always had been just a little different since King Dedede had kidnapped her during their picnic that one time.

"By the way, dear," said Sir Ebrum back to his usual tone as he turned to his wife. "You and I are expected to be there with the rest of the castle to greet the Haltmann representatives when they arrive."

"Oh, really?" asked Lady Like. "How exciting! It always is such fun to meet with an off-worlder."

"Can we come too?" asked Tuff quickly.

"Of course, I'm sure there won't be a problem with that," said Sir Ebrum.

"Hmm," moaned Tiff.

"You don't have to come if it will bother you, Tiff," said Lady Like kindly.

"Yeah, relax, Tiff," said her brother. "You've been uptight about every little thing since we defeated Nightmare Enterprises. You gotta calm down sometime."

Tiff sighed. "I guess I can't help it. I know that nothing as bad as those monsters can ever really happen again, but that doesn't change the fact that King Dedede's still a monster."

"Please, dear," said Lady Like. "Not everything he's ever done in the past two years was bad."

"At least not _all_ bad," Sir Ebrum added, "but it's still our duty to try and support His Majesty when he _isn't_ doing something wrong. Everyone has the opportunity to become better, and I am confident one day His Majesty will become a fine king."

"I know, you said that before," said Tiff. "Even I've said that before, but I don't think he's capable of being anything other than what he's always been."

"A mean, lazy, crazy fat stupid penguin?" Tuff offered smugly.


	2. Chapter 2

JMJ

**Chapter Two: P's and Q's for Lunch and Moola for Dessert**

They stood on the roof waiting for the Haltmann people to arrive. Looking upwards they searched the sky for a ship of some kind, but the sky remained clear and peaceful with the occasional white puff of cloud but nothing more.

Having come with her family to see what was said to be Mr. Haltmann himself Tiff looked with the rest of them up over the parapet wall, and she frowned suspiciously.

Escargoon next to the king also looked somewhat suspicious suddenly. Perhaps he had noticed Tiff's suspicion, but more likely he just grew impatient as he turned to Dedede and said, "Why do I get the feeling that we're being stood up?"

After a pair of wide-eyed blinks, Dedede scowled and let out a low bristling growl.

"I'll show that Haltmann," he snapped pounding the parapet. "No one stands up Dedede."

"Who would try with how immense _you_ are, Sire?" Escargoon said as though in agreement.

Whether the king heard or understood or not, Dedede had better things on his mind than his servant's candid comments. He spun around. However, just as he took a couple steps forward to do something about the situation and show his upperclassmen and servants what that meant when he could not reach Haltmann Works Company much less know what Mr. Haltmann even looked like, there was a gleaming light on the landing platform that stopped him short.

As everyone looked in surprise and awe at the shimmering colors, a figure appeared.

"It's that secretary!" gasped Escargoon.

Quite impressed with the quickness and smoothness of the teleportation, everyone then gave Susie the secretary silence enough for her to bow solemnly and in rising she said, "Greetings to the inhabitants of the Kingdom of Dream Land. I am Susie, secretary to Mr. Haltmann and your guide in the process of making your small corner of the universe a better place."

She had no actual mouth, but her eyes smiled and she laughed pleasantly— musically even.

"Besides being his secretary, I'm assuming you're his favorite robot too," commented Dedede.

"Your Majesty," muttered Escargoon; though no one seemed to hear him.

Susie's eyes widened.

"Robot?" she asked and laughed again. "Oh, no, Your Majesty. The people of my planet are all this way and are not built by a master including our good founder Mr. Haltmann."

"You're all robots?" Tuff could not help but ask out loud.

"We are autonomous robotic organisms," said Susie blushing a little, but still in good humor as she went on, "but we mustn't waste time now. I don't want my duty to be wasted in small talk. I am here to help His Majesty and his people become acquainted with what Mr. Haltmann offers all of you, but first and foremost I would like to introduce everyone to our noble president who never leads us wrong, Mr. Haltmann himself."

She stood aside and after another shimmer of light in the same place where she had appeared, another figure appeared, larger, gruffer, stauncher, and very business-like.

"He looks kinda like a mean version of Dad," whispered Tuff to Tiff.

"_Sh_," was all Tiff said back afraid that the president of Haltmann Works Company would not appreciate comments of that sort.

Sir Ebrum evidently heard Tuff as it was and suddenly looked rather embarrassed at the observation, but aside from glancing briefly and apologetically at his children he made no mention of it.

"Our beloved founder and leader in all that we do," said Susie, "Mr. Haltmann of the Haltmann Works Company."

It was as if she was announcing a king rather than a boss, and somehow everyone got the feeling from that point on that Haltmann Works Company was more than just a company that sold things. It was its workers way of life.

With an oily sort of sneer before anyone else could think of what to say, Dedede said, "Why that sure is one spiffy looking dude!" Then to Mr. Haltman he said, "Well, we are all pleased as punch" (He could not help what he meant to be a rather friendly punch over Escargoon's eyes to stop his sour expression, but he did not look at Escargoon as he stepped forward) "to meet you there!"

He straightened himself and smiled importantly as he motioned to Waddle Doo beside him while holding up his sword like a tin soldier and a face in a daze.

Quickly waking, Waddle Doo cleared his throat that he evidently had despite not having a visible mouth and said, "Introducing his eminence the great King Dedede, ruler of—"

"—all Dream Land!" Dedede interrupted brushing past the little captain of the guard and waving his arm broadly to all that surrounded him as though his kingdom was a vast empire rather than a little place no more than a territory.

Throwing one arm behind his back then and holding up his chest even more importantly he approached.

"Mr. Haltmann!" he said. "I want to welcome you and your company to Dream Land and show you all the best hospitality my castle can give!"

Mr. Haltmann nodded politely, "Thank you, Your Majesty. You are most benign."

"Well, thank you, Mr. Haltmann," remarked Dedede.

Tiff felt the king's eyes briefly and smugly upon her, but she quickly turned away and looked down at the ground nervously.

But Dedede had already forgotten her as he continued, "I have a whole luncheon dedicated to your arrival, Sir. Uh, that is if you automat robots eat the same grub that we do here in Dream Land. Otherwise whatever you would prefer we can have fixed up by supper time."

Susie glanced at Mr. Haltmann and Mr. Haltmann nodded.

"We would be honored, Your Majesty," she said bowing low. "Anything you serve will be alright with us."

King Dedede pulled Escargoon aside as everyone descended to the dining hall.

"Good thing we had the meal shipped here instead of allowing Kowasaki or even the Waddle Dees to cook otherwise he wouldn't've been able to say that once he had a fork in his mouth," muttered the snail.

"You stop that sulking!" growled Dedede very low. "Or I'll give you something to sulk about, you hear? We wanna make a good perception on them. That catering thing was expensive and I'm not about to let it go to waste cuz I'm expecting it all to come back to me ten times over."

"Right, Sire," agreed Escargoon quickly.

Once everyone sat at the table to the luncheon, everyone did behave as though everything was regally proper and ordinary. The food was undeniably exceptional, especially after being used to the bland cooking of the castle normally or the horrid cooking of the only restaurant in Cappy Town, and everyone remembered their manners and minded their "p's" and "q's"—well, figuratively anyway.

It always made Tiff cringe when Dedede acted his kingly part in front of guests, though. It was false, sure, and very embarrassing, but it was more than that. It showed in a way that as stupid as he was he was not _all_ stupid, but was more conniving than he sometimes let on. But then, as others such as Waddle Doo and Escargoon thought on occasion, perhaps it was more that he just liked playing "proper king" when the opportunity arose and nothing more sinister than that. He was brought up as a prince, after all, and even if he did not act like the king he had been taught to be most of the time, he liked to show off that he could if he wanted to.

He even had the Waddle Dees play something relatively traditional on traditional court instruments after the Haltmann people expressed their desires to harbor respect for the traditions of Dream Land. To show he had an absolute respect for such traditions of his people himself he instantly had this done much to the stress of Waddle Doo who had not been sure how good the music of Waddle Dees were. Much to everyone's relief the ones that played on the instruments did so with the same skill that the silent servants usually possessed in all that they did. Though they were playing a tune, despite being on traditional instruments, that the king had had written in his own honor some time ago.

Now at the meal, Mr. Haltmann went a step further in what he said earlier: "Now, Your Majesty, I would like to know all about your kingdom so that I know how to proceed with things once we set up shop, so to speak," said Mr. Haltmann. "After today I will be leaving my secretary here to make sure everything goes smoothly. We don't wish to disturb any environment in which we enter."

King Dedede laughed. Even his laugh was at least a little subdued, but his smug tone still really wasn't.

"Don't you worry a thing about us here in Dream Land, Mr. Haltmann! You just keep your promises like your secretary gave and we'll keep ours!" insisted Dedede. "If your inventions are _environmentally_ friendly then there ain't nothing to worry about, right?"

"Nevertheless," said Mr. Haltmann after wiping his nonexistent mouth on a silky napkin monogrammed in the king's seal.

"Never the less?" asked King Dedede with a raised brow.

"It would make us at Haltmann Works Company feel more at ease to have our Susie keep track of things, if I may make the request, Sire," said Mr. Haltmann.

"Even _you_ couldn't say that they're up to something, could you?" teased Tuff in a whisper to Tiff under the sound of the music, but Tiff thought he really was trying to encourage her in his own way.

Tiff sighed. They sounded like honest people, but she could not help but feel also that they sounded too honest to be true somehow, but she only shook her head to Tuff absently and drank from her glass.

Their parents who, as they were not in the main discussion, were complimenting the Waddle Dees and their music and saying that there should be more music in the future.

"Like in the old days, my dear," said Sir Ebrum.

"So lovely, darling."

"Understood completely, Mr. Haltmann!" grinned Dedede as he looked at the silent and straight Susie seated on the far side of Mr. Haltmann. "Now how's about after we eat you show us more of your great stuff! We'd all like to see more than what was shown in brief little blips in your commercial you sent us."

"Of course, Your Majesty. In fact per your interest about the add, we've already decided to give you a complimentary hovercraft."

"You mean the one from the commercial."

"Indeed, Sire," said Mr. Haltmann.

"Now you're spoiling little old me!"

"You can say that again," whispered Tuff, and this time Tiff had to smile.

"So you're gunna teleport it all the way from your planet to here?" Dedede demanded eagerly.

"Just from our Mother Ship. We can't teleport anything from our planet, Your Majesty. The Mother Ship is orbiting your planet until everything is settled here."

"Oh, uh, right! Of course! The Mother Ship."

"From the little research of what we could obtain about your planet I thought also that you might be interested in updating your remedial facilities. We have made many studies beyond our own people to say that it is safe and guaranteed satisfaction to offer you the advancements we have made for the sake of the corporal in species of your organic biological types that make up planets like Popstar. These will have you—"

"Say what?!" demanded Dedede forgetting his proper façade a moment as he leaned over his plate and nearly knocked over his wine as he smacked the table.

With eyes closed placidly, Escargoon could not help but mutter after swallowing a mouthful of food, "Be careful, Mr. Haltmann, His Majesty is very restricted in his use of diction."

The king stared at Escargoon for a few seconds as he tried to figure out what exactly his own servant had just said, but he quickly hid his confusion in a rigorous nod, "Right, so whatever you gotta offer, you can just show us all after we eat! I wanna see more of them robots and computer gizmos! Then we'll set up in town right away afterwards!"

Mr. Haltmann shrugged.

"As you wish, Your Majesty. I will show you all the latest recreational products."

"That's more like it!" exclaimed Dedede.

There was a very queer sort of smile in Susie's eyes, and just a very slight mocking amusement shining in them.

#

So right away after eating, everything was cleared away, and in the king's throne room Mr. Haltmann had all but a stage set up for his performance. Though, as he was far advanced in holographic videos he hardly needed one. All he needed was room to show the life-sized images at all angles from little round projectors which the Waddle Dees were ordered to place on the floor.

The best seat in the house, of course, was reserved for the king upon his throne, and Escargoon stood at the throne's side. To remain impressive, though, Dedede made sure what there was of his court and every Waddle Dee also had ample opportunity to witness the performance as well. This meant simply the cabinet minister and his family and Meta Knight with his subordinates were present aside from Waddle Dees. It was one of the few times in ages that King Dedede wished he had not fired the rest of the cabinet members so that he could have looked more impressive now, but then official visitors to Dream Land were not exactly common.

Besides he forgot everyone else rather quickly once the lights dimmed and the show began.

First Mr. Haltmann with Susie assisting went through a few basics of what the Haltmann Works Company was just as Susie had already elaborated on.

Already King Dedede had to yawn about that, but as soon as it was over and the holographic images began to gleam and spin in the darkened throne room he grew far more interested, and everyone gasped and oo-ed and ah-ed very impressed with the vehicles, the daily conveniences, and the games. In the background ever present the Haltmann instrumental theme triumphed over all except the voices of Susie and Mr. Haltmann.

"Hey, I wouldn't mind having one of those virtual reality games!" exclaimed Tuff suddenly thrusting his finger out at one of the images.

"Maybe for your birthday, darling," said Lady Like.

Tuff pouted.

"Well, I don't think we need any of that kind of stuff," muttered Tiff, even though how environmentally friendly everything was even got her to thinking, especially the clean garbage disposal units and the clean electricity and the clean vehicles.

She may not have wanted most of what she saw for herself, but she certainly knew it could potentially help other people in her community live more environmentally friendly lives.

"I wouldn't mind having one of those mental messagers," remarked Sir Ebrum musing with a hand to his chin. "If it really relieves stress, that is."

"And who doesn't have stress under King Dedede," agreed Lady Like despite herself.

Escargoon had relaxed as well as he smiled and remarked, "Sire! It's like all the things you used to expect when you thought you could order conveniences from a monster compa—_Fflah_!"

Quite reflexively, King Dedede had promptly whacked Escargoon with his mallet and knocked him down flat on his face.

"I think I need that mental messager more than anyone here," murmured Escargoon with a moan as he slowly picked himself back up. "And an eye and head messager too."

"Quiet, you! I'm trying to listen," growled King Dedede.

Mr. Haltmann and Susie stopped briefly.

"Would you like us to go over that part again, Your Majesty?" asked Susie with a bow.

"No! Go on where you were!"

"Very good, Your Majesty," said Mr. Haltmann and continued in a strong voice, "We would lastly like to bring your attention to the line of robots that we have manufactured."

"_Hmph_," grumbled Tiff so that only her family could hear; although as the Haltmann theme had suddenly grown more triumphant than ever, that was not a difficult thing to do. "I knew there was going to be something wrong."

"What's wrong with a robot?" demanded Tuff.

"If everyone in town got a robot just think what would happen."

"Everyone would have more time to do fun stuff," teased Tuff.

Tiff crossed her arms and said no more.

Besides the king was very pleased and as usual had the opposite sentiment from Tiff.

"I'm gunna have to get me one of those robots too," said Dedede; he was already getting himself one of a good many things that had been displayed.

"Could I have one too?" asked Escargoon.

"Fine but you're gunna pay for it yourself."

Escargoon frowned. "But the king gets everything—"

"Free, for a limited time only," said Susie suddenly. "Yes, this is true, but I'm very sorry that we can only extend this generous offer to one person and it cannot extend to even the most important under His Majesty." She bowed apologetically.

"Yeah! I'm the most important one here, so I deserve the benefits!" remarked Dedede with a laugh. "You're just a servant."

"But you will still benefit from all the advancements made to His Majesty's kingdom perhaps more than everyone else being so close to him, Sir," said Susie.

Escargoon rolled his eyes gave a slight pout.

"Hmm."

He still did not like Susie.

"But I still get a percentage of everything everybody buys right?" demanded Dedede.

"Of course, Your Majesty," said Mr. Haltmann. "Fifteen percent on most items to be used for the good of the kingdom."

"Of course," grumbled Escargoon.

"Of course!" laughed Dedede. "I want my citizens to be happy and my kingdom to be flourishing, ain't that right, my court!?"

"Of course, Your Majesty!" exclaimed Waddle Doo and Escargoon in relative unison and the Waddle Dees bowed in perfect harmony.

Lady Like and Sir Ebrum also agreed, though, in the back of their minds having a similar sentiment to Meta Knight who said, "If that is the true intent, then of course."

* * *

_NOTE: the music playing at the meal is King Dedede's Theme Version 2 from Super Smash Bros Wii U_


	3. Chapter 3

JMJ

**Chapter Three: The Abduction Store**

"With your permission, Your Highness, I will take my leave now," said Mr. Haltmann once the show was over, "I apologize for not staying longer. I am needed in the Mother Ship to oversee my work in person, but as I have promised you, I leave you in the good hands of my secretary Susie who will help decide the best place to install the store and explain any further information to you."

"I will do all in my power to serve you, Your Majesty," said Susie with an enthusiastic bow.

"I like this service already! You're free to go, Mr. Haltmann," said Dedede, and with a chuckle he added to his sidekick, "Remind me to tip 'em before they leave, hey, Escargoon?"

He nudged him in the rib.

"As you wish, Sire," agreed Escargoon as emotionlessly as he ever could muster, which was a difficult feat for him so that it came across as ever-so-slightly forlorn.

"Yo, Waddle Doo! See that this fine Mr. Haltmann is accompanied all proper-like to the platform, will you?"

"At once, Your Majesty," said Waddle Doo with a bow.

"Good evening, Your Majesty," said Mr. Haltmann. "Thank you for the kingly hospitality."

"And a mighty fine evening to you!" returned Dedede. "It was our pleasure!"

Hardly had Mr. Haltmann left the room, when King Dedede wasted no time in turning to Susie to say, "And Escargoon here will make up your room and show you to it later!"

"_Wha_—?" Escargoon's eyes widened.

"That's very gracious of you, Your Majesty," bowed Susie.

Although no one paid attention to him, Escargoon grumbled something inaudible.

"And first thing tomorrow you'll be headed to Cappy Town to find the best place to put in my store! I appoint Tiff as the official guide!" King Dedede said.

"Me?" gasped Tiff.

"Who else can talk someone's ear off about the cultural quaintness of Cappy Town better than you, honey?" mocked Escargoon lightly. "Miss Susie will have loads of fun with you and all your little Cappy pals."

Now Tiff was the one who looked disgruntled despite herself as she crossed her arms at the snail, and Escargoon held up his head now satisfied that someone was as annoyed as he was even if it was only Tiff.

"Right!" snapped Dedede. "And I'll have no back talk from any of you."

"Well, Tiff does—" Sir Ebrum started.

"Didn't you hear His Majesty?" warned Escargoon.

"Ah…It's okay," said Tiff forcing the annoyance out of her face, and she smiled at Susie in her best friendly smile. "I'll be happy to show Susie around."

Susie gave a pleasant nod. "I don't want to be a bother, of course, especially to a juvenile."

"She's no ordinary juvenile," muttered Escargoon.

"No, no, really it's alright," Tiff insisted brightly.

Dedede nodded. "That's more like it! I'll be checking in on how things are going in my brand new hover car, later!" he laughed. "Now how's about we get some dinner around here, I'm starving!"

#

So, next morning right after breakfast and Susie giving the instruction manual on how to use the newly arrived hover car teleported to the roof of the castle, Tiff, along with Tuff, went with Susie to Cappy Town. They had not gone far before Kirby joined the company.

"Poyo!" he exclaimed.

Susie's stopped advancing to look at the queer little creature as the children ran to meet him.

"What is it?" asked Susie hesitantly when Tiff and Tuff brought him to the road.

"It's Kirby!" Tuff said.

"He's our friend," Tiff added, and turning to Kirby, she said, "Go say hello to Susie, Kirby."

"Poyo!" said Kirby eager to meet a new friend and hurried up to Susie so candidly and familiarly, that Susie could not help but take a pace backward.

"Oh, uh, hello, Kirby," she said.

"Poyo! Poyo!" said Kirby happily.

"He likes you already," Tiff laughed.

For the first time Susie's laugh was a little uneasy, but she soon overcame her uncertainty and said, "What an unusual native for Popstar."

"Oh, he's not a really a native," said Tuff with a shrug.

"But he's just as welcome as one now," said Tiff.

"He saved all of Dream Land from NME!" said Tuff. "He's a hero."

Tiff made a face as she was not sure if they should tell Susie all of that.

"NME?" asked Susie in surprise, but she winced at Kirby doubtfully.

"But now we're living peacefully," said Tiff quickly.

Susie smiled queerly and then shrugged, "Well, that would explain why he is so different from the other natives here. I suppose the king would be upset if we tarried long, though. We should continue to Cappy Town, right, and find a suitable location for the store?"

"_Pfft_, the king's always upset," said Tuff. "You shoulda seen him last week when we—"

"Tuff," said Tiff.

"What?"

"_Hmm_, he seemed like a very jolly old soul to me," remarked Susie with some humor as they all continued on their way.

Tuff laughed and even Tiff had to laugh a little.

Susie's own laugh was cut short though when Kirby bounced excitedly in front of her, and she gasped.

Tiff sighed.

Well, she would be bound to learn about Kirby soon enough in such an open town like Cappy Town anyway. As for King Dedede, she was not exactly sure why she had suddenly wanted to hide the fact about what a despot he was. Maybe she could not help but wish things were as "quaint" as Susie supposed. Maybe that was even part of the reason why she wanted to conceal who Kirby was too. It occurred to her on the rest of the way to Cappy Town how actually pleasant it would be if the kingdom was run by better rulers like in the great old days of Dream Land for those many generations before her, but then, had that been so, she would have never met Kirby. Come to think of it she never would have met Meta Knight either, and both Kirby and Meta Knight were two of her best friends in the whole universe.

But all in all, she just really wanted to relax now that NME and his monsters had been defeated. She wanted to believe that nothing bad would happen with Haltmann Works Company. The longer she was with Susie the more she could not bring herself to think wrongly of her. Unless it really was that Tiff could not allow herself to relax, because she secretly wanted excitement.

Could she really be bored despite her desires for a peaceful life?

_No_, she thought firmly and shaking her head. _No. Just enjoy the present._

Once in Cappy Town everyone was very curious to see Susie as strangers even from their own planet were so rare save for a few Cappies from the neighboring villages with goods to exchange. She met Mayor Len Blustergas who gave her a very hearty small-town welcome with his wife Hana. Of course, she had to be introduced to Kawasaki so that she could have that singular experience of eating at his restaurant. After having been shocked by the fact that the chef with so simple ingredients mixed them together so horribly so that even if one tried to make food that bad they would not be able to, Susie was led to Mr. Curio's to recover. She seemed quite fascinated by the artifacts he had gathered now that there were no monsters to come through and wreck his finds.

"These really should be housed in safer containment units than glass cupboards and bare shelves," Susie remarked.

"Well!" said Mr. Curio rather embarrassed. "I would except that uh—well—see, funds are, well…"

"King Dedede doesn't fund him," said Tuff simply.

"Oh, how sad," said Susie, "and His Majesty seemed to be proud of his culture and history when I met him."

Mr. Curio stared, unable to hide his disbelief. "King _Dedede_?"

"Well, never mind, you do have a collection to be proud of, and," Susie said, "when we set up our store, you can use a discount coupon for proper containment units of our own design if that helps."

"Why, uh, yes," said Mr. Curio. "Yes, it would in fact. Thank you, Miss Susie."

"It is only my job, Professor."

And it was a job she obviously took very seriously, because she had already said similar things to a great many people in town such as a special learning system that could teach Kawasaki step by step instructions on recipes with a robot assistant, and a way to install a clean fueling unit instead of the gas station at Gus's—a fuel that not only was cleaner to burn but also better contained so that explosions would be rarer. There would be access to the greatest and latest toys to Gengu at his toy store and ways of storing food for a longer period of time at Tuggle's.

To Chief Bookem she said, "Your prisoner would escape less often if you took advantage of our security systems. I will give you a discount coupon for that as well, if you wish."

Of course, he took it.

By the time they had gone through most of the businesses in town, everyone had a coupon of some kind and everyone had a very high opinion of the pleasantly helpful and pretty Susie, except maybe the kleptomaniac Doron in prison.

Honey's mother even made them a late lunch after Susie had given her a coupon for advanced home appliances, and all the children in town could not wait to show their parents all the coupons for the toys Susie offered them.

"She's a little obsessed with her job, though, don't you think, Tiff?" asked Tuff although he was happily hanging onto a coupon of his own.

"A little," Tiff said, "but I suppose she has to take her job seriously with Mr. Haltmann as a boss, cuz he seems like a pretty serious guy, and, of course, King Dedede. I'm sure she already guessed before we got to Cappy Town that he's not someone you want to make angry."

"Does that mean you're not suspicious anymore, Tiff?"

"Not of Susie, no," said Tiff.

"How come you don't have a coupon?" Tuff demanded. "Even Kirby's got one; although I don't think he knows what it's for."

Tiff made a face. "Just because I think Susie's honest enough, doesn't mean I like the idea of that store being here."

"Touchy," said Tuff.

After all, it was straight after lunch that Susie was discussing with the mayor and the police chief where would be the best place for the store.

"It's going to have to be a pretty large store, I would think, to fit everything you say will be in stock," said the Mayor.

"Maybe we should put it on the road along the way to the castle," suggested Chief Bookem.

"As long as it doesn't cut into my property," said the Mayor.

"It would block the view of the castle," said Tuggle. "That would be good."

"Oh, no, no," said Susie with a twinkly sort of laugh. "The store won't be bigger than the grocer's already here. In fact it will be much smaller."

"But then how will you fit everything inside it?" demanded the Mayor. "Are you so advanced a race that you can shrink everything?"

"Don't be silly, Mr. Mayor," said Susie and paused. "Well, actually we technically can shrink and grow anything we want to, but this store is a virtual store with several 3D monitors in which customers can see everything in our inventory from every angle and in every model. Then once something's ordered it will be directly transported to you."

"Like an abduction ship on a TV show only instead of abducting you it sends something to you?" asked Kawasaki. "That sounds fun!"

Everyone close by heartily agreed.

"It sounds an awful lot like Nightmare Enterprises' transmitter in Dedede's throne room," remarked Tiff as she sat with Tuff and Kirby on the jail porch.

"Hey, at least it won't be hurting the environment then," Tuff replied swinging his feet idly. "Besides it's not like it _is_ Nightmare Enterprises. Kirby defeated them, and I always did think it would be fun to try it some more after we got to use it for our way home."

Tiff raised a brow, "Really?"

But Tuff was eating an ice-cream-filled orange popsicle he got from the grocery store and he did not answer. Besides it was just at that point that a great crowd of Cappies had gathered around making the street a big commotion. It was almost hard to hear what the Mayor, Chief Bookem and Susie were saying, and Tiff really did want to hear. So she jumped off the porch with Kirby at her heals after popping his own snack into his mouth. Tuff was not far behind, and together the trio got closer to hear.

"Well, all I have to say is that it's about time Cappy Town joined the rest of the universe technologically," the Mayor was saying.

"I couldn't agree more," said Mr. Curio. "It was leaving us way too open for attack from outsiders like in the incident with those monsters, and it will save a lot of energy and time in my work."

Some of the others agreed quickly also.

"But how long will it take to build it?" asked Gus.

"Oh, it's already built," said Susie. "It only has to land here."

"Land here? So it is a ship?" gasped Kawasaki.

Susie shrugged with a little laugh, "Sort of, and it will arrive right after I give the okay to the Mother Ship once His Majesty has approved the location of your choice."

"Well, then just give us the exact specs and we'll find the perfect spot," said Chief Bookem.

Susie was just about to give them, but a crash suddenly sounded nearby from the direction of the castle. Everyone stopped at once to look just as an Escargoon-like shriek followed it. After a few seconds of silence there came a swooping sound too. As all eyes raised to the sky a strange vehicle in made a dive like a swallow after plunging straight up a ways. This time both King Dedede and Escargoon could be heard; though King Dedede sounded more angry than scared.

The king's voice carried just enough to make out the words, "What's the matter, can't you read instructions!"

"At least I read at all!" came the reply.

The vehicle disappeared again behind a hill, but Cappy Town was then distracted further by the sound of sheep baaing as they hurried quite frightened towards the town along the road.

Kirby cocked his head. "Poyo?"

"My sheep!" gasped the Mayor.

"Maybe this isn't the best time to speak of such things, Mr. Mayor," said Susie lifting a finger, "but I can also give you information on sturdier fencing which we sell, but since I already gave you a coupon I cannot give you another one."

"By all means that will be the first thing on my list of things to buy!" exclaimed the Mayor.

The sheep swamped around everyone and mostly passed them by. Just as the herdsman came running down the road after them however the hover car suddenly burst onto the scene barging in front of him. Had it been a wheeled vehicle it would have run the herdsman down. Instead he merely fell flat on his face clasping his head and just missed getting hit by the front bumper.

Covered in leaves and clothes stuck to clothes lines as well as feathers and vines and even a little sea water and seaweed, the hovercraft at last came to a squealing halt just in front of the town's great central tree in the square. The craft itself looked completely undamaged although very dirty, but the chauffer and important passenger looked at least tousled if not a little hurt. They were also covered in vines and seaweed and mud and were gasping heavily with eyes wide in front of them.

"I told you we should have asked Susie first!" cried Escargoon suddenly.

Dedede glowered out in front of him for a few seconds and then unexpectedly gave Escargoon a good sock in the eyes.

"You were supposed to be reading the instructions! I thought you were supposed to be educated!"

Moaning, Escargoon caressed his sore eyes and eyestalk before turned to the king, "Instructions don't tell you the feel of the vehicle, Sire."

King Dedede growled and threw a large piece of seaweed from his head and adjusted his crown.

"Well, you're gunna spend the rest of this week figuring out that feel, you got it?!"

"Yes, Sire," Escargoon whimpered.

"And make it presentable again too," King Dedede added.

Escargoon only sulked and slumped in his seat.

With another low growl, King Dedede opened the sliding door and water poured out as he stepped out onto the road with wet feet slapping everywhere he stepped and a dripping robe. One would almost think he had gone to follow the ways of his ancestors and had taken a dive in the ocean for a fishy snack before getting here.

"What are you all looking at!?" snarled the king at the Cappies, and he shook his fist dangerously.

"Oh, uh! Nothing, Your Majesty!" exclaimed the Mayor.

"Nothing at all, Sire!" annunciated Biblio, the bookstore owner.

"We were just about to decide where the best place to put the Haltmann Store would be," Chief Bookem added.

Kirby came by in front of the king riding a sheep and patting its head affectionately.

"Outa the way, stupid Kirby!" snapped King Dedede, and he made an attempt to whack him with the mallet he had brought in case everyone in Cappy Town was making a fuss about his store. "No one invited you here!"

But Kirby promptly leapt off the sheep and floated down cheerfully as though it was just part of a game.

"Hey! It's not Kirby's fault!" snapped Tiff. "Don't take it out on him!"

"His Majesty has a right to be miffed!" snapped Escargoon in return, apparently recovered from his funk as he suddenly slid onto the scene with a line of mud trailing behind him. "After everything the king's trying to do for you people, advancing your way of life and all, and all you ever do is accuse him and bad-mouth him! You're all ungrateful slugs! And Kirby's just getting in the way! It's not like he hurt the little blubber ball. His Majesty is the one that got hurt and does anyone care?"

"It gives a king the feeling that he's not appreciated in his own kingdom!" agreed Dedede after blinking strangely at the snail for a few seconds.

"Or at least they appreciate Kirby more," Escargoon muttered crossing his arms.

As the crowd began to murmur, Tiff opened her mouth to say something, but remembering Susie she changed her mind.

Susie meanwhile glanced at Kirby, and Kirby cocked his head curiously back at her. As their eyes met, Susie blinked and turned away.

Then the Mayor cleared his throat, "Ahem, but we really do appreciate everything that you've been doing _now_, Your Majesty, and you certainly deserve all the respect of being our king! Isn't that right, everyone?"

Blinking in surprise, everyone else quickly agreed.

"Besides, let's not forget our pleasant guest!" said the Mayor suddenly clasping his hands together and turning to that guest in question.

"I'm afraid we aren't leaving a very good impression of our kingdom behaving like this," admitted his wife Hana.

Again everyone agreed.

"We apologize, Miss Susie," said Mr. Curio gentlemanly.

Susie blushed. "Well, it's all alright, really. The hover car does take some getting used to, and a king has a right to get frustrated. It's only natural that a town get frustrated as well about the honest mistakes of a ruler."

Dedede smiled at her and then straightened importantly. "Not that there were ever that many of those!" he declared.

"Of course not, Your Majesty," said Susie with a bow. "Perhaps you would just like to choose the spot yourself, Your Majesty."

"As a matter of fact I would!" retorted the king, and after musing a little and tapping his chin, he said, "I think it should go right there!"

"In the middle of the road, Your Majesty?" asked the Mayor.

"No, don't be stupid, Mr. Mayor!" laughed Dedede. "Right where that tree is right in the middle of town so everyone can have easy access to it!"

The townspeople hesitated and looked at each other uncomfortably. It was likely that Dedede said this to get back at the town and they knew it. He also was probably testing them, for he watched them very carefully.

"Does anyone have a problem with that?" asked Escargoon smugly; he eyed Tiff especially.

Tiff crossed her arms with a huff but said nothing for the moment.

"Well, if this tree bears some historical or cultural significance," said Susie then quite observant of the crowd, "there's no reason why it cannot be preserved, after all."

Everyone looked at the king hopefully.

"Well…" mused Dedede fully aware of his citizens' anticipation, and he grinned closing his eyes as he made them wait. "Alright, for the sake of my people and their history and culture, which I one hundred percent endorse! We can have it right at the front of town then in its own circle with the road fixed to go round it!"

The Cappies cheered their king.

"That's more like it," Escargoon sniffed.

Tiff breathed a sigh of relief. Her opinion of Susie had become much higher after that.


	4. Chapter 4

JMJ

**Chapter Four: A Liability**

Back at Castle Dedede that evening after everything had been neatly and quickly set up for the store's opening the next day (including the new road), Susie was alone in the presence of the king. Even the king's auxiliary was gone at the moment— partly to leave the king's presence while he played his new virtual reality game in which he ran around with a visor over his face and a virtual hammer that somehow wasn't so virtual and somehow landed on that auxiliary's head, eyes, and ribs. Though, Susie would not have cared either way about him. At least no one from town or a member of the Cabinet Minister's family was about, so she took the time as an opportunity to speak about a very pressing matter on her mind once the king's game had finished, and Dedede laughed quite pleased with himself.

"The townspeople have a strong attachment to that foreigner Kirby," she remarked.

Instantly, Dedede showed signs of bristling, and Susie looked up at him innocently.

"Yeah, so?" Dedede demanded.

"Well, I just could not help but notice. If it is a subject you wish not to speak of, I will not ask about it again, Your Majesty," said Susie with bow. "It's only that they said that he saved them from danger and terrible foes, but they must be mistaken somehow if the king does not seem to share that appreciation, if I may be so bold as to mention."

"Kirby!" spat Dedede. "Kirby's just a pest! And those townspeople are soft in the head is what they are! So don't you listen to any of their wild stories about NME and monsters and whatever else they been telling you. It was just some mean animals from those dangerous Wispy Woods that I woulda been able to get rid of myself with my knights if I had the chance!" Then he straightened suddenly proudly with a hand to his chest. "But from the goodness of my heart I let them keep him cuz it would break their hearts if I was to dispose of him."

"I see, how very compassionate of you, Your Majesty," said Susie.

"Too compassionate if you ask some people around here, like Escargoon for example, but I push it all aside. If it makes my people happy, then I'm happy, I say!"

"Then they don't give you as much credit as you're due, Sire," said Susie bowing again, "but they do seem pleased with Mr. Haltmann's gifts, which are granted through your acquiescence. I do hope we are able to mend the rent that has been caused by Kirby between you and your people."

King Dedede smiled.

"Well, I sure hope you're right!" he retorted. "You sure are a great subordinate! I'm almost tempted to try to hire you away from Mr. Haltmann and you be my own servant!" And he laughed.

Susie laughed too. "Oh, I'm sure I don't want to take away the places of your other servants who seem so devoted to you."

"Ah, who needs them!" scoffed Dedede.

"Be that as it may…" giggled Susie again, and she shrugged. "Well, I will not take up any more of your time, Your Majesty. I'm sure you are quite tired, and tomorrow will be most exciting."

"Right, you are excused!" said Dedede.

Susie bowed one last time and withdrew.

#

"_Grr_! That Kirby!" snapped King Dedede when Escargoon returned to the throne room.

Escargoon moaned, for he had just come back from attempting to fly the hovercraft again. He didn't crash this time or get hurt at all, fortunately, but he still made an unexpected dive into the sea again at one point just when he thought he had gotten the hang of it.

He stifled a yawn as he muttered, "I need a shower."

Flinging his face into Escargoon's, Dedede snarled, "Forget about your stupid hijacks and listen!"

Escargoon cringed, but the king withdrew and began to pace.

"It's always _Kirby_ this and _Kirby_ that! It's all anyone ever thinks about!" he growled. "Well I'm sick of it!"

"Oh, come on, Your Majesty," said Escargoon lifting a hand hopefully. "Don't do this to yourself. We all know Kirby's a pain, but going on about it isn't going to help, especially so late. You'll feel better in the morning, y'know? It's been a long day. Tomorrow you'll have a wonderful day of getting stuff." He squinted thoughtfully a moment and added, "…even though you only get discounts tomorrow because the free trial thing is already over, so be careful now. I know we still get twelve percent of the Cappies' buys, but still."

"What does that Kirby have that I don't!" snapped Dedede then turning to Escargoon again.

"Uh—well, besides being little and cute and overall nice and friendly and helpful?"

"Who says I ain't cute?"

"The Cappies," said Escargoon very quickly.

"It's been two years, Escargoon!" said Dedede pacing around the throne room again. "It's times like this I woulda had me a monster show them up!"

"Now, now, Highness," tutted Escargoon with an upheld finger. "You know that that-place-that-shall-not-be-mentioned wasn't good for your health, especially after a while when all that merchandise started to attack _us_ and manipulate _us,_ and not to mention became a great violation of our personal space if not just plain…" Escargoon shuddered and shook his head as he tried to block the memories from his mind. "If you ask me it's just as well that—"

Dedede socked him on the head.

"_Ack!_" cried Escargoon. "What was that for? I didn't mention its name!"

"You were mentioning it in your mind sure good enough."

"But you brought it up!" complained Escargoon.

"Never you mind what I brought up! I'm just sick of that Kirby that's all!"

As this continued for a little while longer before Dedede gave up and went to bed and allowed Escargoon to do the same, Susie took this opportunity to make for her own room before they left. She had never gone far and when she had seen Escargoon enter she could not help but eavesdrop. She had heard more than enough too.

Just as she was stepping away however, she thought she heard, or perhaps felt someone somehow lurking behind her. She turned quickly but saw no one.

_That's funny_, she thought. _I thought for sure there was_…

Well, this was an old castle and there were many strange sounds which echoed within its deep stone walls and up into its lofty ceilings. Perhaps she just felt a little uptight.

Susie remained in the corridor a little longer just to make sure, but then she shook her head and went on her way to her room.

#

"Miss Susie," said Tiff.

She happened to see Susie in the corridor alone when she had been headed for bed, and she was not about to let her go by without saying something. She still was not in the least bit thrilled about the store, but she did like Susie. She could not help it.

"Yes?" asked Susie, obviously surprised at Tiff speaking to her for she had been in her own world humming the Haltmann jingle quietly to herself before Tiff's interruption.

"I…just wanted to say that that was a really close save you made there in Cappy Town, appeasing everyone in town, and…even though, I admit that I would have been happier if we didn't have a store at all, I just wanted to say that…well, I had a great day with you otherwise and Kirby really likes you too. I'm very glad we got a chance to meet you. I only wish it didn't have to be because your job."

"Thank you," said Susie with a bow. "Coming to this place with its lush resources and peaceful surroundings was an experience I have never had before and had been quite an education and a pleasure."

"I'm glad you think so," said Tiff.

"But I am only doing my job, of course, representing the president of the Haltmann Works Company to the best of my ability. So it really is him you should thank."

"Eh, maybe," said Tiff trying to keep her smile. Then she paused. "What's your planet like?"

"It was necessary that our planet be fully mechanized for it was not suitable for living for quite some time before the update. It was never anything like Popstar even in its best natural state, but we were forced to overcome it and we did. Everything is clean, orderly, and sanitized."

"I'm sorry," said Tiff.

"Oh, there is nothing to be sorry for. I feel no sorrow about the triumph of my people during our struggles," replied Susie.

"Oh," said Tiff and paused briefly. "Well, I hope you continue to enjoy your stay here, anyway."

"I believe that I will," said Susie. "As long as our customers are pleased and that pleasure pleases Mr. Haltmann I will be pleased as well."

Tiff wished Susie would open up a little more, but she decided that tonight that was not going to happen so she said, "Well, goodnight, Susie."

"Goodnight, Tiff," said Susie. "I'll see you in the morning for the opening of the store."

Tiff nodded and then headed for her parents' quarters.

#

Susie closed the door casually and quietly behind her. Once inside, she popped open a holographic screen and it was not long before Mr. Haltmann appeared.

"I trust everything is going well?"

"Mostly everything, Mr. Haltmann," said Susie. "The natives suspect nothing and the king, especially, is more of a fool than we could have hoped, but there is one thing that may be an obstacle to us if we do not proceed with caution."

"Explain yourself, Susie."

"Well, there's this 'Kirby' that lives here who is not a native to Popstar," said Susie. "It may be nothing serious, but they claim that he is their hero. Kirby has apparently saved the inhabitants of Dream Land on more than one occasion from some sort of monsters. From the King's own mouth proceeded the name 'NME'."

"Are you suggesting the possibility that this alien life form has fought NME?" demanded Mr. Haltmann rather disturbed.

"Yes, the events of whatever this Kirby has done seem to have happened recently enough to give substantial evidence to the possibility of his involvement in NME's defeat."

"Even the great Haltmann Works Company did not wish to compete with Nightmare Enterprises," mused Mr. Haltmann.

"That was before the rise of the Mother Computer, oh, noble one."

"Who is this Kirby?" Mr. Haltmann demanded.

"Kirby doesn't seem like much," admitted Susie, "and at first I did not think anything, but the inhabitants are very serious about it. As primitive as they may be and as simple as Kirby seems, I believe that there is something to what they say, especially as it has apparently caused friction between the king and his citizens. From what I surmise, if NME truly has been on this planet, the king was somehow an accomplice, which says something about how easy it is to manipulate him, but that still leaves Kirby. Something must be done to ensure that he is not a threat to us. I believe he is a real liability."

Mr. Haltmann thought a moment. "Well, if there is already friction between the king and the rest of the savages then perhaps he can be induced to create a diversion while we speed up our plans a little."

"Quicken the buyout, you mean?" asked Susie.

"As much as I hate wasting precious monetary resources," said Mr. Haltmann (they had been selling off out-of-date merchandise from their warehouses that no one else in the universe would buy for as much as they could sell it for on Popstar in its ignorance). "There is, after all, such a thing as choosing which plan gives the most profit, and even the king doesn't have nearly enough money to contend with the planet itself." He paused. "The resources are as rich as we supposed, are they not?"

"More so, Mr. Haltmann," said Susie with a bow, "and the inhabitants lack the faculties, of course, to fully appreciate the wealth that they have in those resources."

"Then we will commence with the distraction, and if that does not stop Kirby, I know quite well what will."

"Very good, sir, but our robot should finish him off."

#

The next day the store was a huge success. Everyone in town that had a coupon, which was pretty much everyone, had to go in and buy what that coupon offered a discount for. Many bought a good deal more than that. Even Takori got in on the action; though where he got the money, nobody asked, and he got himself a self-making bed, which happened to be a perfectly designed sleep-number waterbed besides, which he would not allow anyone to touch.

This included Kirby, but Kirby did not seem to mind as he proudly held a very slim remote-like gadget that he had absolutely no idea how to work or what it did. All day he took it about with him as he followed Tiff and Tuff. Tuff had a little trouble following as he had one of those virtual visors to play a virtual video game as he walked beside Tiff. Once or twice he bumped into her.

"Hey watch out, Tiff!" said Tuff.

Tiff just groaned.

"This is stupid," she said after a moment. "It's like no one's learned anything from what happened two years ago. Let's go home, Tuff. I'm sick of watching everyone waste their time and money on this junk that they don't need. I don't think anyone's even bought any of those good things that were actually offered that are supposedly meant to make our old technology cleaner."

"Then you should buy some of that, Tiff," said Tuff absently, for he was just about to dodge an invisible enemy.

"Oh, come on," sighed Tiff taking Tuff by the arm.

Kirby happily followed.

As they returned to the castle, they had no knowledge of the fact that something worse than toys and games were about to be bought. Well, after the king ordered one of those sleep-number waterbeds and the instant cookie-maker now attached to his throne…

Dedede was just about to order himself a mechanized croquet set, which Escargoon was already scowling about it as he held one of those holographic computer pads he had so desired and had to buy with his own coupon and money. However, just as the idea for the expensive toy had left the king's mouth, Susie very brightly, very innocently, very enticingly said, "Of course, we have many of those in stock, Your Majesty, but since you have used up your free trial you might want to use that money on something more worthwhile for a such a magnificent king as yourself. Mr. Haltmann himself said to remind you that we do not only sell toys, and that a kingdom as prone to outside forces as yours probably would like to also fortify."

"Waz-that?" Dedede demanded.

"She's selling you defense equipment," said Escargoon.

At first Dedede looked annoyed, but after a brief moment of thought, he said with interest and just a tinge of suspicion, "What sort of defense equipment?"

"Well, I do recall that when Mr. Haltmann himself came to visit, Your Majesty had some keen interest in seeing more of our stock of robots, which is, actually, our specialty. We hope you are able to take full advantage of our robots, because without the limited time offer of free merchandise, such robots as our defense soldiers will be some of the most expensive items we sell."

"Hmm," mused Dedede, having his instant cookie-maker make him a cookie that popped into his hand.

While the king ate it, Escargoon shook his head and muttered just low enough not to be noticed by the king's ears, "As if he wasn't fat enough already."

"Well, let's see the best thing you got in stock, girly!" roared King Dedede with full eager determination.

Susie bowed. "At once, Your Majesty."

Then with a sneer Dedede said to Escargoon, "You should learn yourself a thing or two about how to serve a king from Susie. She's a natural."

"She's just a bootlicker," muttered Escargoon with a sniff not caring if Susie overheard or not; though she did not seem to take any note in it.

Taking her own holographic pad, Susie showed a very impressive and cruel-looking contraption. It gleamed smooth with no jagged edges to make a limb easy to break off or get snagged. It could go on land, sky, and water, and had a boring feature.

"What's the boring feature?" demanded Dedede. "You can leave that one out!"

Susie laughed her tinkle of a laugh. "It means it can dig underground with a very special drill, Your Majesty, and can double as a weapon."

"Well, if that's the most boring feature, I can't wait to see what else it's got!" laughed King Dedede giving Escargoon a hearty slap on the shell as it was easier to reach than his back.

Escargoon could not help but agree quite intrigued himself.

"What kind of weapons does it have?" he asked.

"Yeah!" said Dedede. "Show us the weapons!"

"With pleasure," said Susie and on the holographic image she showed the massive laser guns which emerged from its back and vaporized an opponent with one shot.

Both penguin and snail's eyes grew very wide at that.

"Forget the croquet set! I want _that_, Escargoon!" gasped Dedede pointing at the holographic screen.

"It will be done, Your Majesty," said Susie.

"There's no catch or weakness or anyway that could make it accidently turn on us that we should know about is there, Miss Susie?" Escargoon quickly demanded.

"Oh, no," said Susie. "The only way that it could turn on its master is as if someone took it apart and reprogrammed it from the inside."

"Yeah, so quit your yapping!" growled Dedede. "I wanna see my robot!"

He said the word "robot" the same way he had always said "monster" when he was really eager for one, and it made Escargoon suddenly feel somewhat jealous. After all, he may not have been able to make a robot like Susie's, but he certainly could have constructed him a battle robot better than most of those monsters that had been sent to them and had only made their lives more miserable in the end. King Dedede had never taken that much advantage of Escargoon's expertise in robots after Nightmare Enterprises. It made him remember his suspicion of Susie herself the more he let this resentment simmer.

Outwardly he glared at Susie as King Dedede leapt from the throne to make his way to the roof, and Susie took mild note in it, he saw, before leaving with the king.

Escargoon looked down at his own computer pad that he had already organized with castle and country information and statistics and some personal studies from his paper notes, but he suddenly felt that resentment against Susie make him not desire it as much. She cheated with all this technology. After all, people of science had advanced just fine without such luxuries on Popstar. He had made robots himself with using just simple tools, simple computer chips, and making notes on paper with pencils and an everyday calculator. If he had been born into a society with everything Susie had, he would be smarter and far more advanced than Mr. Haltmann's obsessive secretary.

He almost did not follow the other two to the roof. If something went wrong it would be Dedede's own fault for allowing those aliens here in the first place, but he knew that he could not leave the king alone with such a potential fiend to take advantage of him without someone of intelligence by his side. Or worse, if King Dedede decided he liked Susie's groveling service better than his groveling service!

"She makes groveling look like something easy!" Escargoon growled to himself. "When she leaves, if I don't prove myself better than her, I'll never hear the end of it."

#

"How big is it gunna be?" asked Escargoon wincing a little as he came out into the bright light of day on the roof and came up behind King Dedede.

"Oh, pretty big," said Susie, "but it will fit in the castle."

"Shut up, Escargoon, and watch!" Dedede snapped.

In a very attractive flash of pink and purple light, the robot instantly appeared without all the ruckus and drama of Nightmare Enterprises. Though, Escargoon had to admit that at least it prepared a person for the creature that would emerge. Even though he had expected something bigger, he still moved back a little in surprise to see the robot suddenly emerge in front of them.

King Dedede laughed. "Now that's what all call a robot."

"Mr. Haltmann will be glad to know that you're pleased with your purchase, Your Majesty," said Susie bowing in her usual way.

But King Dedede wasn't listening. He was still chuckling to himself with a lazy leer in the direction of a certain tree which could be seen in the distance from his castle and the little round hut beside it.

"Your kingdom will be safe from now on," Susie added.


	5. Chapter 5

JMJ

**Chapter Five: The Good Old Days Go Futuristic**

"Now how much is something like this going to cost?" demanded Escargoon.

"Well, it is the best of the line," Susie admitted, "but, as I said, I will give it to His Majesty for a discount."

"Yeah, well, I know I thing or two about tricking people with discounts, I'll have you know, Miss Susie," retorted Escargoon. "Jacking up prices and then putting products on supposed discounts for people that are ignorant and don't know that they're paying the actual price is kid stuff."

"Oh, I can assure you we are most beyond such things," Susie tittered.

With a sideways glance Escargoon said, "How can we be sure?"

Although he had been ignoring Escargoon up until this point as he was admiring the view and chuckling at the image in his mind of a giant robot fist with lasers on every knuckle squashing and burning his long-time enemy, King Dedede suddenly blinked with annoyance and spun around with a snort.

"I thought I told you shuddup, Escargoon! This thing is a necitation for the kingdom!"

Escargoon winced. "A what?"

Dedede made a swipe at the snail, but he somehow managed to slip his grasp.

As Dedede was about to try another lunge, Escargoon let out a cry and put Susie in between him and the king; though there was plenty of space between him and Susie still. Dedede paused and although growled a little again, he suddenly looked thoughtful, and tapping his beak he then said, "So how's this thing activated?"

"Voice command," said Susie. "Although I do have a hard copy of the manual it will be cheaper if I just download it to Mr. Escargoon's device. Are you sure you're happy and wish make a purchase, Your Majesty?"

"Yes, I am!" said Dedede staunchly. "Escargoon. Make the exchange!"

Escargoon sighed. "Yes, Sire."

After the exchange was made, Dedede then said, "Now, Susie."

He smiled at her smugly as he tried to look dignified again. He wrapped a hand around Susie's slim shoulders and gently led her to the stairs.

"I'm sure you have a lot of other things you need to do today," King Dedede went on cheerfully, "like see how Sir Ebrum's new toaster oven thing's working out for him."

"Oh, of course, Your Majesty, but only if you're sure you don't need anything else."

"No, I think we're pretty good here," said Dedede.

"Yes, Your Majesty," said Susie with a bow and promptly withdrew.

With a grand posture and hands wrapped neatly behind his back, King Dedede remained. That lazy smile on his face grew somewhat spaced out, but otherwise he waited patiently until she was quite out of sight. Escargoon may have eyed him strangely, but Dedede completely disregarded him. Then once Dedede felt satisfied that Susie was far enough away he spun around and grabbed Escargoon around the eyestalk and pulled him towards the robot. He laughed gleefully and Escargoon let out a cry before the king threw him down beside him.

"Now get that computer pad thing and read those instructions she downloaded into it!" Dedede ordered rubbing his hands together.

"You wanna send it out in broad daylight, Your Majesty?" demanded Escargoon. "You were just saying yesterday that you were sick of everyone thinking about Kirby and hating you."

"Better to think of him as the dearly de-parted if they're gunna think of him at all," chuckled Dedede. "It's gunna be just like them good old days, ain't it, Escargoon?"

He grabbed him around the shoulders for another hearty laugh.

Escargoon frowned darkly with eyes just above his computer pad held in front of his face. "What good old days?"

"When it was you and me with all the monsters we could throw at that Kirby!" grinned the king as he released his hold on his servant.

"Oh!" said Escargoon with a roll of his eyes. "You mean the good old days when we got billions of Ds in debt just to get blown up and splatted and squashed, spiked, burned, froze, and mashed, bloated and creamed _and_ humiliated every other day when Kirby defeated _your_ monsters? Those good old days, Sire?"

By the end Escargoon was speaking through his teeth as he bristled at the idea of suggesting that any of those days could begin to compete with the worst of days in these past two peaceful years before Susie appeared.

Dedede was not really listening, and he said just as eagerly as before, "Yeah, those good old days."

Escargoon moaned and rubbed the top of his eyelids as he didn't actually have temples. "Isn't there a better way to channel your hyperactivity? Maybe a modernized version of croquet would be better, after all." He shook his head and muttered to himself, "At least a non-sentient robot can't bite the hand that feeds it."

"Just read those instructions and quit your whining!"

"Yes, Sire," said Escargoon. He cleared his throat and looked down at the pad. He caused the screen to go holographic again as he mused over what to do to use the king's new expensive toy.

"Besides, this time we'll catch Kirby unaware," said Dedede thrusting up a finger. "We'll be sure to get him!" He clenched his hand into a fist and his teeth into a grin.

"Whatever you say, Your Majesty," said Escargoon inattentively. "Now let's see here." And he began to read out loud, "'Voice activation'…" He made a face as he murmured on a little bit.

"What?" demanded Dedede.

"I just noticed the disclaimer," Escargoon retorted. "It says here that they claim the right to have no responsibility for any injury or damage caused by any misuse on the client's part with the power this robot contains."

"Well, ain't that just perfect!" laughed Dedede.

#

It was evening however before the robot attacked, not because Escargoon convinced him otherwise, but because Escargoon took his time with instructions and pretended they were more complicated than they actually were. They could have had the robot activated and programmed for the task at hand within moments, but he made it last hours. At last Dedede's temper could take it no more.

The robot was released and King Dedede and Escargoon were atop their favorite balcony with binoculars to see the action.

Fortune seemed on Dedede's side at first too because Kirby had turned in early, and the robot was quieter than it appeared it could be as it hovered across the hill towards the tree and hut. Just as it was about to crush the tree with Kirby flat however, Takori suddenly took note of the light of the robot's eyes suddenly in the window, for he had turned in early just to sleep on his new bed.

First he blinked sleepily and muttered something half in a dream, but in a double-take he quickly saw that nothing ordinary was outside, and he screamed.

"Ack! We're being abducted! We're being abducted! Help! Kirby! Where is that boy when I need him!?"

He flew out of the hut and Kirby woke up. Although a little disoriented he leapt away. The robot, seeing that its enemy had moved, lasered instead, and singed many leaves in its line of fire and nearly singed the top of Kirby's head. The laser went far into the distance, scorching the ground for what looked like nearly a mile.

On the castle balcony where the two villains watched, King Dedede roared with laughter and said, "Would you look at that fire power!"

"Yeah, but its movements are kinda sluggish compared to Kirby's."

"Stop being a downer!" snapped Dedede smacking his servant on the head several times in a row with his fist. "This is gunna work! I can feel it! Can't you?"

"It's hard to feel anything else with permanent lumps on a person's head!"

Back with Kirby, who was wide awake now between the robot and Takori fluttering in his face for him to do something, recovered from his shock completely and was ready to take on the foe immediately. He apparently had not lost anything in those two years of peace even if he was still very perturbed by such an unexpected attack after so long. But still he had no weapon to fight back with.

Kirby dodged as well as he could the blows and the laser fire.

"Kirby!" shouted Takori still fluttering about as the robot attacked. "Don't lead it back to the tree! Don't let it crush the house! Kirby! Watch out for _yourself_!"

On the balcony Dedede was laughing now and Escargoon in the heat of the moment could not help but join him even with the ill ease prickling his mind and swimming in his stomach—hey, his entire career at the castle had been based upon ignoring such things.

On the ground Kirby was panting and sweating before long, and suddenly the robot had a new tactic. It shot out what looked like acidic balls. One, two, three, they struck the ground and melted the grass and scorched everything it landed on into a disgusting oozing muddy slop that smelled foul and steamed and bubbled. Then a forth one skimmed Kirby.

"Poyo!" cried Kirby flinging backwards in pain.

"Kirby! There's gotta be something he's shooting atchya that you can suck up!"

With a puckered brow, Kirby nodded.

The fifth time an acid ball fired and Kirby did just that. Although Takori had not a clue what weapon Kirby was flinging back at the robot it quickly turned the tables and that was good enough for him. It was good enough for Kirby too.

On the balcony, Escargoon lowered his binoculars.

"Um, Sire?"

"I thought I told you to quit bellyaching," said Dedede.

"But I think the fight's coming dangerously close to the—"

_CRASH_! Right into the castle wall. It was the outer wall, but it certainly caused an effect—not to mention that it crashed right _through_ the wall and rolled onto the castle grounds.

#

Tiff gasped from the sound and ran to her bedroom window to throw it open. She had not been asleep yet and had already been wondering what the sounds were outside before the crash into the wall.

There was quite suddenly a fight on the castle grounds. She could hear Kirby yelling at the monstrous robot. For a moment she nearly thought it must be a monster as she could hear in the distance Dedede laughing when Kirby got hit and both Dedede and Escargoon crying out when Kirby hurt the robot and it rammed into a wall causing the whole castle to shake and stones to fall, but she quickly remembered everything that had been going on recently with Dedede and Haltmann Works Company.

"I _knew_ something like this was going to happen!"

"Tiff!" shouted the voice of Takori suddenly as he landed in her windowsill.

"Takori?"

After catching his breath, Takori said, "Where did that stinkin' robot come from?!"

"Isn't it obvious? From Haltmann Works Company," said Tiff angrily. "I knew that nothing Dedede finds can be good in the end."

Tuff poked his head out of his window too at about this time, and since Tiff's and Tuff's bedrooms were close enough they could see each other now.

"But what would Haltmann Works Company have against Kirby?" he said.

"Come on!" said Tiff.

And both Tiff and Tuff hurried out of their rooms. Their parents were up as well looking out a window of the door to the balcony from the living room of the family quarters; for they had not quite yet gone to bed.

"Now, now, Tiff, where do you think you're going?" demanded Sir Ebrum.

"To help Kirby!" exclaimed Tiff.

"If you go out there, the only thing you'll do is help yourself get squashed," said Sir Ebrum. "I've been giving a lot of thought about you running straight into danger."

"We've talked about it together," agreed Lady Like.

Sir Ebrum nodded. "And—"

"But, Dad!" Tiff and Tuff both said together.

Another crash sounded and a strange explosion. The whole family rushed to the balcony, and although they could not quite see the robot, save for a few pieces scattered about, they did see Kirby bouncing quite happy by the defeat and ready to return to bed.

"Kirby!" called Tiff.

"Poyo!" Kirby waved his little nub-like hands back at her.

"Is the robot dead?" asked Tuff.

"Poyo! Poyo!" called Kirby excitedly.

"Come up here, Kirby!" called Lady Like. "You can stay with us tonight if you like."

"By all means! A hero's reward!" called Sir Ebrum.

Suddenly Takori flew in front of their faces.

"No way!" he cried angrily. "He's staying with me!"

Zipping down towards Kirby he said, "You're gunna share a spot on my new bed and be my guard all night long so I can relax knowing I have a guard watching the place!"

Kirby cocked his head. "Poyo?"

"Now c'mon, I'm beat!"

Kirby followed Takori out of the hole in the outer wall.

"But what happened to the rest of the robot?" asked Tiff once Kirby was out of sight.

#

The king's balcony was destroyed and the broken pieces of stone and robot lay in a pile on the ground below. There came a moan from beneath the rubble, and as the stones moved and the heads of King Dedede and Escargoon emerged bruised and sore, Escargoon collapsed on a flat piece of metal in front of him.

King Dedede simply stared wide-eyed out in front of him with clenched teeth.

"Are these the old times you meant, Your Majesty?" Escargoon asked wearily.

A twitch appeared in Dedede's brow, and he closed his eyes. After a few seconds he punched Escargoon in the top of the eyes.

"_Eeegh_!" Escargoon grabbed his bruises.

#

"The robot was a failure!" said Susie.

She had used her teleportation device hidden in her room to reach the ship. Now she hovered with arms crossed and eyes glaring with as much of a pout as she could have without a mouth at a certain scientist, head of one of the divisions named Dr. Kyle. She would have been tapping her foot had she had one, but either way the scientist looked rather unperturbed as he glanced unhurriedly up at Susie from his work with a worm specimen on a desk.

Although the walls were gleaming white, the lights were dim giving everything a hygienic bluish cast, because even Susie's race needed to rest now and then and most of the scientists were in bed. Dr. Kyle looked like he would rather have been in bed himself, but they had a schedule to hasten with additional factors besides.

Dr. Kyle, although had a slight lazed sort of look about him most of the time, also carried himself with a poise that was just as commendable as Susie's regardless of being tired. He also had a very piercing sort of stare as he actually possessed a visible pair of reddish pupils (these matched the color of his coat and helmet; and looked quite well-planned with his yellow tie), which penetrated his surroundings in a way that seemed to prove that very little could get past him despite his laid-back expressions.

"Well, pure robotics isn't _my_ department," he said with a shrug. "Mechinizing creatures that already have at least an instinct to begin with is where _my_ specialty lies, as you probably know full well, Miss Susie, and I've been busy keeping to my work with my research on those 'dangerous' woods."

To demonstrate he poked at the work with a tweezers to show the liquid metallic hide he had already coated it with.

"Well, it can't be blamed on the Mother Computer," said Susie.

"Perish the thought," remarked Kyle.

Susie frowned the harder at his tone. "Sometimes, I think you don't take what we do here seriously enough."

"Oh, by all means, I hardly think that the taking of an entire planet and transforming its delicately balanced life systems a slight matter, Miss Susie," he said with a tone of voice that was difficult to decipher whether he meant it or just enjoyed teasing her. The amusement in his voice told Susie at least that he enjoyed the reaction she always gave with such talk if nothing else. "But, hey, since we are so concerned about Kirby, you may want to keep up the game a little more. They may make feeble use of what actually serves as their faculties in Dream Land, but the natives _will_ get restless if they start to think you fled the scene of the crime."

"Oh!" Susie growled. "Just make sure that mechanizing mini-processor is ready by morning."

"Already there, Miss Susie," said Kyle smiling smugly with his eyes. "I just announced commencement of this next phase to our kingly lord of time and space himself. You trust that he has the power to crush the competition, don't you? If you want my advice I think you need to relax. You're way too uptight, and being uptight, then something's bound to go wrong again."

Susie turned away with a huff.

She went back to the transport-pad to return to her room and act as surprised as everyone else, and horrified that the king would misuse Haltmann equipment in such a reckless fashion.

#

It was very early when Tiff left her family's quarters. The sun had not quite risen, but Tiff herself had been going in and out of sleep all night. She doubted anyone else could get a good night's sleep after that robot fiasco either, but everything was very quiet now. The corridors felt ominous and stuffy. She wanted to go outside and maybe meander over to Kirby's house in time to greet him when he woke up. However as she stepped down the corridor listening to the echoes of her footsteps she suddenly heard another pair of footsteps very close behind her.

She gasped in alarm and spun around.

"Meta Knight!" she breathed.

"A little early for you to be up, isn't it?" Meta Knight commented.

"I wanted to get some air. Where _were_ you last night? We could've used your help!"

"Watching," replied Meta Knight with a tone of voice that brought atmosphere to the halls that had just moments before seemed so dead. "Poison Kirby had everything under control."

"But then you gotta know," Tiff said desperately, "and you gotta tell everyone, Meta Knight, that Haltmann Works Company is evil whether they're as bad as Nightmare Enterprises or not!"

"We have no proof that Mr. Haltmann or any of his people knew what King Dedede planned to do with his robot."

"But they are awfully suspicious Meta Knight."

"They're greedy perhaps," said Meta Knight, "but we do not know the extent of the greed enough to prove that they truly have ill intent for Dream Land or Kirby."

"But—"

"Just wait and watch. I will let you know if I find anything substantial for evidence against them."

With that Meta Knight passed her by. The conversation at an abrupt end, Tiff sighed and continued with her plans to visit Kirby.


	6. Chapter 6

JMJ

**Chapter Six: The Metallic Moan**

Birds cried in the distance, taking flight as fast as they could away from the trees and away from Wispy Woods. The air seemed to have an ominous chill about it. It did not take a perceptive person to think that something was wrong, especially after the strange hallow sound, almost metallic, that moaned queerly on the wind.

Tiff who had been with Kirby all morning suddenly stopped eating her late breakfast of wild berries and looked.

"I don't like this," she said.

Kirby looked up at the trees as well and saw a pair of chipmunks hurrying away from the woods and crossing to trees scattered in the grassy hills.

"Poyo?' he asked slowly looking up at Tiff with concern.

From their spot on a hilltop, the pair stared up at the blowing leaves now seemingly vacant of any animal unless they were hiding in burrows beneath the trees. There was something obviously metal gleaming like a chromed sea monster poking up out of the sea of green and submerging again.

Tiff's hair stood on end and she cringed. "What's that?"

Kirby blinked and then frowned.

After a moment of silence, the strange metallic moan sounded again, but this time it sounded more like a growl.

Kirby darted suddenly towards the woods.

"Kirby! Wait!" cried Tiff scrambling to her feet and racing after him.

#

The queer moaning or growling had echoed to the castle as well, and although Lady Like and Sir Ebrum had to comment about it in whispers and some of the Waddle Dees looked over the parapet walkway, neither King Dedede nor Escargoon paid the least bit attention. It was hard to pay attention to the outside world when one's inside world was so at stake, after all.

"But, Sire!" Escargoon complained as he hurried to keep up with the king's quick defiant strides. "You can't be serious! After what just happened you want to get another mons—uh! I mean robot! Please, Your Majesty, I beg you, for once in your life have reason!"

"Reasoning's your deportment and for people like Tiff, and action's mine!" retorted King Dedede. "And right now I need action! I need something I can control every moment myself! Something I can make move and react exactly when I say so with my true precipitation of timing! There's gotta be a robot they got that's remote controlled or motion-centered to your body like those people on those computer characters in movies and I'm aiming to get my hands on one of them now."

"But Sire, think of your budget! We just fixed it! Think of your bruises! Think of the state of your family's castle! The Waddle Dees still have a lot of work to do to fix the walls and the balcony! The failure with the first robot was just last night!"

"I _am_ thinking of my bruises and the state of everything and they need to be avenged!"

"Think of all the therapy tapes I had to watch to get myself to be as emotionally stable as I am!" sobbed Escargoon grabbing onto the back of the feet of Dedede so that the king began dragging him along the tiled floor, his bare snail skin squeaking like sneakers across the polished tiles. "I almost lost it after just one _year_ of fighting Kirby!"

Tears gobbed his eyes and a choke grew in his throat as he tried to keep from bawling, but he did not get the chance to anyway.

"Get offa me, you wack job!" snapped Dedede shaking Escargoon off and then kicking him with his other foot when that did not work.

"Ah!" cried Escargoon.

Then Dedede went on at the same pace as before, "And it's been four years too long that Kirby's overstayed his welcome."

"Well, at least he can count when it matters," murmured Escargoon under his breath and wiping the tears away on his arm. Quickly afterwards, he chased the king down again on suddenly perceptible feet.

"Please, Sire!" he begged clasping his hands together once at his side again and he could slide along in his usual way. "If you value my work and all I've ever done for you even the slightest bit, please, or our relationship as master and servant, even—like…like Frodo and Sam. For old time's sake, O, Your Majesty, have mercy on my nerves. I'll lose it again! I just know it! I'm getting too old for this! The doctor says my blood pressure's just not what it used to be, y'know? At least find it in that ruthless wasteland that serves as your heart to wait another good _week_ before—"

Dedede stopped so suddenly that Escargoon did all he could to keep from running into him.

"_Grrr_!"

Escargoon cringed and covered his eyes with his hands bracing himself for a smack, but Dedede had not been paying the least bit of attention to Escargoon.

"Where's that stupid Susie when I need her?" Dedede growled.

"She's in town helping one of the Cappies," said Escargoon with a sigh. "Kawasaki, I think."

"Yeah, well, there ain't no helping that loser!"

"You can say that again."

"There's no helping a wimp like you neither!" snapped Dedede.

"You don't exactly need her to order," Escargoon remarked after a pause still rather sulkily; he said it not to be helpful but simply because of a burst of annoyance against Susie and all the staff at Haltmann Works Company. "You can just use one of those virtual store visors. I'm sure she left you one here. They're not all in town, y'know?"

Dedede brightened and snapped his fingers. "Hey, you're right. Great thinking, Escargoon!"

Realizing what he had done, Escargoon moaned.

#

"Kirby!" called Tiff still racing into the woods.

Even as she entered she felt the dead chill around her, and a metallic smell on the dead breeze that tried to whip her back onto the grassy sunny hills still visible behind her as though entering a very strange world in which she did not belong. But this was Wispy Woods. She had gone into them her whole life. What was going on? Dedede again? Haltmann Works Company? Nightmare Enterprises?

This certainly felt like a nightmare, and for the first time she seriously had a terrible chilling feeling that NME was not dead, and that feeling filled her with such a hopeless dread that she staggered suddenly and tripped along the path flat on her face.

She clutched at her stinging cheek and then her elbows.

What if Haltmann Works Company had only the same master in the end as Nightmare Enterprises? What if Mr. Haltmann was just a monster in a new line created by NME better and stronger and smarter than before?

"Poyo!" she heard Kirby yell out in the distance through the trees blocking the sight of him.

Tiff shook her head and dragged herself to her feet. She could not think about all that now. Nor did she physically have time, for it was at that moment that she saw it as it rumbled towards her, using its metal-plated roots to grind through the ground and move forward. It was a giant metal monstrous tree!

"_Ah_!" she cried and just barely got out of the way of its grinding gleaming roots, but as she lifted her head, she saw what it was.

"Wispy?" she gasped out loud to herself.

Or was it just a copy of him. Either way Wispy was in more danger than he had ever been.

And Kirby?

He was coming in at the mechanized Wispy, and unless someone like Rick in the woods had told Kirby to suck something up, Kirby had actually done so on his own this time. He was Rock Kirby, but Tiff was not sure if Rock Kirby would be enough to stop such a beast as it stormed out onto the hills beyond the border of the woods.

Quickly, she ran out of the trees after them.

#

Cappy Town heard the noise now of the metal monster in the hills. Some people on the outskirts could see it. Even Escargoon in the castle suiting up King Dedede in his motion-capture gear thought he saw something out a window, and both heard the noise.

"Come on! Hurry up! The party's starting without us!" snapped Dedede.

"But whose party is it if we aren't starting it?" Escargoon could not help but ask.

Nevertheless, Dedede finished getting ready himself and then began putting his robot into action. Once it was turned on, Dedede could downright feel the power he had in controlling the robot with his own actions, and he grinned with fire in his eyes that made Escargoon shudder. With the visor over his eyes, Dedede could see through the robot's eyes, and as he stood on the motion senor pad, he tried it out. Taking one dangerous step forward he nearly crushed Escargoon with a big robotic foot.

"Charge!" growled Dedede and as he began running in place on the sliding pad, the robot charged forward and rammed right through a wall.

"Oh!" groaned Escargoon.

Dedede's new robot ran along the parapet outside of the castle and then with a giant leapt he made it land with force on the ground.

He roared, "Lower that bridge, you Waddle Dees!"

"Quick, before he stampedes through!" snapped Escargoon through a megaphone out over the grounds.

Faster than usual the Waddle Dees lowered the bridge and just barely was it low enough for the robot to run out without crashing through the boards. It took another leap over the moat and onto the road on the other side. Quickly it then made for the grassy hills, and Dedede could see dirt and dust flying as it approached. He saw Rock Kirby suddenly in front of him, and he laughed.

"At last! Let's blow that Kirby into a pile of rubble!" he cried, and he made the robot's arms turn into laser cannons.

The only funny thing was that Kirby, floating on the Warpstar, was looking behind the robot rather than at it after a few seconds.

Dedede made a face.

"Huh?"

_CRASH_!

"_Iiiaah_!" cried Dedede.

Something giant, something deadly, and something beyond what Dedede could actually perceive rammed right through him—or the robot anyway. Lurching forward with the motion of his robot against its will, he was not sure if he felt actual pain or if it was just so much of a shock. Either way he fell over in his surprise and onto his back. The robot's vision pixilated and went out.

"You're Majesty!" cried Escargoon running to his side.

He could feel Escargoon shaking him before he took off the visor, and he shoved him away as he threw the visor off.

"What happened?" demanded Dedede.

"I don't know, exactly. I was about to ask you the same thing?"

"Come on, we're going to the roof!"

Grabbing Escargoon he pulled him forward still in full gear. Their balcony was not fixed, so the roof would have to do, and with binoculars in hand King Dedede and Escargoon looked out in the direction of the hills and saw the fight.

"It looks like Wispy is fighting Kirby!" exclaimed Dedede.

"But why would Wispy do that?" demanded Escargoon. "Besides look at him, he's lost all his color and he's shining like he's got a tinny coat of paint."

"What's that mean?"

Escargoon removed his binoculars and closed his eyes pompously, "My guess would be Haltmann Works Company."

"They're trying to defeat Kirby before me?" growled Dedede removing his binoculars and glaring at his servant.

"Looks that way, Sire," Escargoon remarked. "Duped again, as usual, but look at the bright side. If they fight Kirby instead of us, then we don't have to get involved, and then goodbye Kirby without any pain and suffering on our part!"

"No! They can't defeat Kirby without me!" snapped Dedede glaring into the binoculars again. "That Kirby's gotta defeat their fake Wispy Woods just like he always does."

"_Hmph_."

Dedede shook his fist angrily. "You better kill that phony Wispy, Kirby, or else!"

Escargoon put his binoculars to his eyes again too, and it did look like Kirby had the upper hand now, for he had turned into the form he had taken last night again. He chased after Wispy, or whatever it was, and spat out some acidic substance from his mouth.

"Yeah! Get him good, Kirby!" snarled Dedede.

It was not much longer before Wispy was defeated, and Escargoon despite himself smiled almost as smugly as Dedede when he saw that beneath the metallic coat really was a part of Wispy's wooden hide showing through.

He saw Tiff running to an exhausted Kirby, but Kirby would not rest yet. Both hurried to the wounded Wispy Woods that now somehow had to return to his spot in the middle of the forest and be replanted as the metal coat slowly but surely slid off of him like a slippery slime.

Escargoon chuckled, a very vile and mean little laugh.

"Oh, Haltmann Works Company is in for it now," he sneered, and removing his binoculars he looked up at the king in quite good spirits; he said very cheerily, "Maybe we should go into town and ask Susie what that was all about, huh, Your Majesty?"

#

Tiff was already in town by the time King Dedede and Escargoon arrived in the hovercraft, which Escargoon had mastered by now. Just as Escargoon had hoped the loud-mouthed girl was yelling at everyone in town about what had just happened. At her side, Kirby was even a little wounded and had a bandage around one arm and over his brow.

"Oh, this is rich, Sire!" Escargoon laughed.

"I knew that none of this would end well!" Tiff was yelling at the wide-eyed Cappies in the middle of the town's fairy ring of building around their tree. "I knew something like this would happen! That was Wispy Woods up there, and now we have to help him! He's stranded up in the fields and can't get back into the woods where he belongs! He had been taken over by some kinda metal shield that dragged him through the woods and out of them to fight Kirby!"

King Dedede opened the hatch of his vehicle and marched onto the scene. Sniggering, Escargoon hurried after him.

"Oh, what does he want?" said Tuff crossing his arms.

"I say Wispy and Kirby got what was coming to them!" retorted Dedede then forcing his presence over all, "But that sure doesn't explain you, Susie!"

He thrust a finger at Susie among the people in the crowd, and as the king pointed everyone else backed away. Susie's brow puckered.

"Please, Your Majesty, I was just trying to explain—"

"_Explain_? Hah!" said Escargoon. "I always knew there was something too good to be true about you! Now say what really happened to everyone in town!"

Tiff was taken aback. Of course, she had assumed Dedede and Escargoon in on this.

Susie cleared her throat, "I was trying to." She bowed to Dedede humbly and said, "With your permission, You're Majesty."

"Oh, cut the act!" snapped Escargoon.

Tiff glared at Escargoon.

"You have my permission," retorted Dedede. "In fact, on behalf of my kingdom, I _demand_ to know what really happened!"

The Cappies murmured in agreement.

"Well," said Susie calmly. "First I would like to say that although you have a right to be concerned, we at Haltmann Works Company can only humbly apologize for the freak accident that happened. It appears that when His Majesty's robot last night exploded some of the volatile core pieces of it flew far from where it could be picked up and properly disposed of because of the power of Kirby. Our staff has been diligently searching for the missing pieces to break them down safely. Unfortunately one got into the woods and somehow in its instability affected Wispy Woods and drove him insane when it coated his body in an unfortunate mechanizing process. Fortunately Kirby was there to free him, but I believe the only reason why he attacked Kirby was because he was there and no other reason than that. After all, it also unfortunately destroyed His Majesty's replacement robot. Right, Your Majesty?"

"Uh, right," said Dedede, confused as to why he suddenly was not so angry at Susie even if he was still angry in general.

"But how would you know that?" demanded Escargoon.

"Yeah!" snapped Dedede.

"When I heard the commotion, of course, I used my binoculars to see what was happening. I quickly alerted the mother ship about the horrible predicament of Wispy Woods and that the piece was in him. We have recovered the piece now, however, and we are more than willing to use our technology to put Wispy back into his proper site if someone goes to direct me where that is.

"That sounds reasonable," the Cappies said to each other. "What a kind person Susie is!" "Yeah, we were just all overreacting again." "We're so sorry, Miss Susie for thinking badly of you."

"Oh, no it's quite understandable, and the fault is all mine," said Susie humbly bowing to everyone. "I do not deserve such kind words or your forgiveness."

Tiff pouted. "But you said that your technology was clean and—"

"Oh, not at all," the Mayor interrupted. "You are the most welcome visitor we've had in years! We will be most grateful if you return Wispy Woods to his proper spot."

"Yeah, then I won't have to see him from my castle!" laughed Dedede, but no one thought his joke very funny.


	7. Chapter 7

JMJ

**Chapter Seven: Innocent Until Proven Guilty**

"Hmm," said Mr. Haltmann musing at the screen from over his desk.

Dr. Kyle felt his eyes upon him before he looked back at him.

They were watching the humiliating retraction of their own machines placing Wispy back into his spot in the forest, where he was properly replanted. The only fortunate thing was that Wispy was too worn out or too disoriented to tell anyone clearly about a further problem in the woods—the mechanizing of everything living there, but it would not be much longer.

Kyle dared not return Mr. Haltmann with any kind of look unless Mr. Haltmann directly addressed him, but he had already known he was in trouble when he had been ordered to Haltmann's office like a naughty schoolboy. He dared not indicate anything, really, but stood, his black shiny shoes planted firmly beneath him and his floating gloved hands wrapped neatly behind his straight back. He appeared unperturbed except for the pucker in his brow that Mr. Haltmann could not see at the moment.

Once the process of putting the tree-creature back had been complete, Mr. Haltmann turned to Kyle a second time and said lightly, "Mechanizing life-forms is your department, Dr. Kyle."

Slowly Kyle turned his head and gave a slow uneasy smile in his eyes. "Yes, Mr. Haltmann."

"We aren't blaming the Mother Computer on this, I hope," sniffed Mr. Haltmann impatiently as he moved his floating chair away from the desk and drew closer to Kyle.

Kyle did all he could to keep from taking a step back from him.

"Oh, not at all, Sir! The fault is, admittedly, all mine. I…must've miscalculated the strength of the mechanized botanic against itself; for, as we've seen that is how the little pink plop defeats its enemies."

Mr. Haltmann snorted. "Oh, indeed, Dr. Kyle!"

"But on my behalf, Sir," Kyle went on holding up a finger innocently, "it was a little rushed. The mechanizing process was not complete, especially since the botanic has such a thick hide around the middle and its delicate photosynthetic cotyledon-coated head possesses the exact opposite difficulty. Its bodily systems are not as easy to adhere to the process as other biological life without risk of damaging its energy feed and since it was not a full mechanizing process, Kirby was able to dislodge it. I couldn't make it too encased. I can't be expected to perform miracles, after all, even with the benevolent and all-knowing Mother Computer on our side, Sir. _Heh, heh_."

Haltmann flashed a dangerous expression, and Kyle bowed apologetically and to hide his face burning red in the cheeks now.

"Well, see that it doesn't happen again!" snapped Mr. Haltmann quickly. "Schedules are important. It won't be long before the Mother Computer is able to control everything on its own without the need of you and your incompetence. If you prove yourself unworthy, Dr. Kyle, efficiency in our company will not be sacrificed, and you will no longer be an asset, do I make myself clear?"

"Unmistakably, Sir!"

"Then you had better go back to your work station, Dr. Kyle, and prove to me your work ethics."

"Right away, Sir," said Kyle with a dramatic bow, and he quickly withdrew, for he certainly did not want to lose his ergonomic seating or anything far worse than that.

#

Supper in the castle dining hall came a little later than usual that evening because of all the construction the Waddle Dees had had to do that day. Susie did not seem to have much of an appetite regardless. It could have been guilt or it could have just been the sour, suspicious glare Escargoon kept gracing her with as he waited on the king. It might have even been the way that King Dedede kept complaining about his robots too with a little less than refined table manners as he was in a disagreeable mood, but Escargoon certainly pegged her lack of appetite on guilt. She did not pick away slowly and glumly. She was as secretive about her true feelings as ever, but she was in hurry, he could tell that much.

"Not hungry?" asked Escargoon with an unpleasant sort of smirk when Susie asked to be excused early.

"Oh, it's just been a long day, Mr. Escargoon," Susie said. "I still feel terrible about what has happened, and I just would rather get some rest. You understand."

"Yeah, well, tomorrow I better get a discount or something free to make up for what happened today!" growled Dedede, but he shooed her away nonetheless.

"I'll see what I can do, Your Majesty," said Susie with a bow.

She hurried perhaps just a little too quickly out of the room, but then who would want to eat their meal with an ill-tempered Dedede and Escargoon anyway. Swiftly she made for her room, but she had not gone far when she felt a presence in the hall with her. Despite herself she made a slight jump as she turned. It was the knight, Meta Knight, and she tried not to look suspicious. He did not seem to notice anything unusual about her, anyway.

He glanced mildly at her as they crossed paths and he said politely, "Miss Susie."

"Sir Knight," said Susie quietly and placidly, and she bowed.

Then Meta Knight continued on his way. Susie watched him for a moment and could not help but remember that feeling of being watched in the hall before when she had been spying on Dedede and Escargoon. She felt a little shiver, but Meta Knight now did not once look back. He even seemed to stifle a yawn as he turned a corner so that Susie shook her head.

_He just carries a presence_, she thought to herself. _A wonderfully mysterious and intriguing presence, but he's just as sleepy as everyone else in this sleepy backwater place, isn't he?_

She tried to convince herself of this anyway. After all, he may have been good in a fight, but that did not mean he had any true sense. He was only a savage native. Turning again she floated to her room. Closing the door behind her, she paused, and then locked it. She also drew the curtain closed; the window itself was already shut and latched. After a moment of silence and of thought, she then promptly took out her transport pad and transported back in a flash of light to the Mother Ship to see how things were going.

Though, it was not long after her exit from the scene when the latch on the window suddenly moved. Behind the curtain a thin strip of metal between the two doors moved the latch upwards. Once the latch slipped down the other way, the window slowly and carefully opened and Meta Knight stepped into the room. He had not been idle since suspicions of Haltmann Works Company had arose.

He was no stranger to that transport pad either and aimed right for it. He gazed down at it darkly before using it himself. A gleaming, hygienic flash of white, pink and blue and he was no longer in the castle but in the Mother Ship. He emerged in a fighting stance, prepared just in the case of an attack, but when he looked around the wide pad, he saw that he stood very isolated.

A personal transport of Susie's, he guessed.

But it did not take him long to find out where there were people. The busily working grunts of Haltmann were mostly below the precarious platform or balcony that Meta Knight walked along. Translucent and nearly ethereal-looking elevator shafts took the workers up to various levels, and as Meta Knight made his way along, he could hear the faint eerie echoes of the Haltmann jingle. He also heard Susie humming it to herself down a particular corridor, and singing a little bit too:

_Noble __Haltmann__, we adore him_  
_Noble Haltmann, we adore him_  
_Kingly lord of time and space…!_

Meta Knight's eyes narrowed, but he did not follow her. He remained out of sight and out of the way for a little while until he saw that many of the workers were going on a break or perhaps to bed. Then he found his way to the labs below. One of the main ones was nearly empty, he saw. Only dim light filled the room, and only a few workers were apparent. Two of them were the smaller grunt-sized assistants, but one was a full scientist—at least that was what could be surmised as he was not dressed in a matching uniform and seemed to be in charge.

Very swift and agile in movement, Meta Knight quietly knocked out the two drones before they knew what had hit them. The scientist turned with a raised brow curiously, but before he could see the unconscious workers his eyes suddenly bulged as he felt the sword at his throat.

"What are the real plans of Mr. Haltmann?" asked Meta Knight coolly.

The scientist blinked and then frowned as he said, "A little cowardly to interrogate someone from behind."

"Answer the question."

The scientist cleared his throat and then said nervously, "I'm sure Susie and Mr. Haltmann made their plans quite clear. We're selling you a load of crap that no one else in the universe will pay much for. What else would we be doing?"

"Yes, and more than just old appliances you want to get off your shelves," Meta Knight pressed.

"Look I'm going to be in a lot of hot water if I spill private company information, so whether I get into trouble with you or into trouble with the company it really doesn't make that much of a difference now does it?"

The sword got a little closer at the neck.

"It would only take a second to remove your head," Meta Knight pointed out.

"You do have a point, I'll grant you," said the scientist even more nervously than before. "A very, very excellent point. What do you want to know exactly?"

"Your scientists caused purposely what happened to Wispy Woods."

"If you know that why are you asking?"

"I know that Wispy was not the only tree in the woods to suffer the same fate although they cannot move as Wispy had. Soon it will be the entire forest, won't it? What is your business in Dream Land?"

"A, uh…science experiment," squeaked the scientist. "Albeit a very unorthodox one. You know, it would be easier to talk with my throat not bobbing into a sharp-toothed sword. You're not a native either, I'll take it."

"What sort of experiment? Why Dream Land?"

"The resources were prime," said the scientist very near a sob. "Listen, I'm going to get in serious trouble, here."

"You made Wispy, a creature of nature, part machine and twice—perhaps, thrice when counting King Dedede's second robot purchase, your aim was to fight Kirby. Was it always to fight Kirby?"

"We got nothing against the little bugger personally!" begged Kyle, for indeed it was Kyle. "Mr. Haltmann has a tight schedule and a tight budget. It's just good—"

"—business?" asked Meta Knight lightly.

Kyle lifted a hand idly and returned to his normal lazy expression for a moment, "Well, when you put it that way…"

"Then you are planning to take resources from Popstar for your experiments. Then what?"

"I—well, it's part of the Mother Computer's—"

Meta Knight stiffened as he felt someone approach from behind.

"As Kyle told you," said a voice just as Meta Knight was turning to see who it was; he was not surprised to see Susie. "Private company business."

Meta Knight shoved Kyle into the floor where he collapsed face-first with a moan.

Susie stood upon a balcony looking down upon them. She looked very calm.

"Susie, you must see at least the unethical nature of what you are doing," said Meta Knight calmly. "Put a stop to it. Tell your noble master to put a stop to it."

Susie laughed her little tinkling laugh. "So you heard."

"Heard what?" demanded Meta Knight.

With another little laugh she began to sing:

_Noble __Haltmann__, we adore him_  
_Noble Haltmann, we adore him_  
_Kingly lord of time and space!_

_Every day we wish him glory,_  
_Every day we wish him glory,_  
_Gazing on his noble face!_

_Master, crush the competition!_  
_In your presence let us stay!_  
_Yours is every star and planet_  
_Now and ever, night and day!_

_We implore you, dear Haltmann_  
_We implore you, dear Haltmann_  
_Bless our work and be at ease!_

_Pay and ergonomic seating,_  
_Pay and ergonomic seating,_  
_Give us favors such as these!_

_All we wish for you our lord is_  
_That you never lead us wrong!_  
_Rule us all, beloved Haltmann!_  
_That we may all sing our song!_

When she had first began Meta Knight had only lowered his eyelids with disgust, but as she continued to sing he kept all senses on alert. He had a feeling it was a diversion or a form of stalling as Susie did not quite seem mad enough to sing like this for no reason at all. Kyle, he noticed, was slowly taking the opportunity to try to whack him over the head with a wrench from behind, but with the butt of his sword and as quick as a flash he struck Kyle down and knocked him out without looking behind him. Susie only watched as she sang and did not stop until she reached the end, and still nothing happened.

"You knew that I was here the entire time," said Meta Knight.

"I was beginning to suspect someone wiser than a little juvenile female and a sensitively brainless servant was on to me," Susie admitted, "watching from the shadows, a brave protector of these silly indigenous creatures. It is admirable. Oh, it's really sweet, actually." And she laughed again.

Meta Knight's eyes kept a watchful gaze out on her hands which were obviously fiddling with something.

"You must stop this, Susie," he said again then rather darker than before.

"Oh, you won't do anything to me," said Susie brightly. "I'm just an unarmed secretary. You're much too honest and brave and true."

"And the resources?" pressed Meta Knight moving the conversation away from himself.

"Popstar, especially in Dream Land is a place lush with natural resources. Clean air…fresh water…but you must know that the natives take it for granted. Mr. Haltmann is only going to put it to good use. Our Mechanizing Occupation Program is underway, and although I must say that though, you are my favorite, you are still an obstacle to us just as much as Kirby is. Therefore I have no choice."

Meta Knight waited for it.

"You must be destroyed," said Susie now herself with a tone of voice rather dark.

She pushed her button, and Meta Knight slipped away. The alarms went off and emergency lights began to blink, but nothing was directly chasing him. That made Meta Knight suspicious, but just as he looked over his shoulder at a sound that he thought might have been an adversary, he suddenly felt suction at his feet and he nearly tripped. He had to stop running.

His feet were sticking hard to a strange tar-like substance coming up out of the floor. His eyes narrowed again as he tested his footing to see if there was any way to tread this queer substance, but it kept expanding. He slashed his sword against it and freed himself temporarily, but the substance was becoming like quicksand in the sense that the more he moved the more stuck he became, and the thicker and stickier it was until he felt almost like he was being swallowed up in a giant melted marshmallow. He looked back once more only to see Susie arriving and Kyle clutching his forehead.

He tried again and again to use his sword to free himself before the stickiness swallowed him again, but soon even his sword hand and his Galaxia could not save him. It was as humiliating as it was dreadful, but he could not escape these madmen—for now at any rate.

"He's taken, Mr. Hatlmann," said Susie on a communicator.

Then he saw no more, nor could he move. He could barely breathe and consciousness was leaving him fast no matter how he fought. It was no use. He could not get back to Dream Land.

#

"We now have only one concern," said Susie to Mr. Haltmann in his office after Meta Knight was properly contained in the lab. "We must keep the inhabitants busy until the— _ahem_— Mecha Knight is finished so that he can take care of Kirby himself while we finish the mechanizing of Popstar."

"You seem to have a suggestion on your mind," remarked Mr. Haltmann wrapping his hands over the arms of his floating golden seat.

"Why, yes, President Haltmann," said Susie eyeing a photo on his desk that was usually not there of a very small child that looked strikingly related to Susie if not a younger version of herself. "I was thinking of going forward and just simply mechanizing Castle Dedede and the grounds surrounding it under the guise of giving the castle its own remodel for a very extreme discount. You'd like that wouldn't you, sir?"

Haltmann smiled with his mustache. "That's what I like about you, Susie. No one can multitask like you. Having someone pay us to mechanize them is your department."

"That's not the only reason you like me," muttered Susie despite herself.

"There is more than one reason, yes," retorted Mr. Haltmann so that Susie jumped to know that he had heard her. "But there's no reason to be too much of an upstart, now is there?"

"My apologies, Mr. Haltmann."

"No matter, no matter," said Mr. Haltmann shaking his hand and closing his eyes. "Balanced self-confidence is what makes a team player. Now go, commence with your plan."

"Thank you, Mr. Haltmann," said Susie with a humble bow. She was just about to withdraw however when Mr. Haltmann stopped her.

"You noticed my photograph," said Mr. Haltmann then.

Susie's cheeks burned suddenly, and she spun around to face him.

"Sir?" she asked almost eagerly despite herself.

"You've heard the saying that one cannot change their past mistakes. Only atone for them."

With a slow nod Susie frowned. "Yes, Sir."

"I am not about to make the same mistake twice with this plan and lose everything I worked for," said Mr. Haltmann, a strange faraway look in his eyes now as he stared at Susie— stared right through her rather, but Susie could not help but wonder if something about her eyes had given him that faraway look.

Part of her hoped so but part of her resented it.

"Are you… alright, Sir?" asked Susie with difficulty.

Mr. Haltmann shook his head and turned his chair around with a swivel of a device on his armrest.

"I have vowed in your very presence that the Haltmann Works Company will be the most powerful entity in the known universe, and I do not intend to break that vow for anything. If I cannot see my Susie again, I will, with all my strength if necessary, preserve this last Dream, and what better place than a country called Dream Land to have the Star Dream arise like a phoenix out of ashes."

Susie did all she could to keep from rolling her eyes. She hid it in another bow. Then Mr. Haltmann allowed her to leave.

After the door closed automatically behind her, Susie leered back at it with ruthless annoyance.

"Stupid old man," she muttered before continuing on her way with a whip of her hair.

* * *

_NOTE: Yes, I got that tar bubble thing from the _Incredibles_, hah, hah. I thought that would be fun, actually even if I feel sorry for poor Meta Knight.  
_


	8. Chapter 8

JMJ

**Chapter Eight: No Such Thing as a Free Meal**

"When do I get that twelve percent of the Cappies purchases, huh?" demanded Dedede first thing the next morning when he saw Susie.

He had not even sat down on his throne yet before he attacked her in such an abrupt manner.

"Yeah, we haven't seen a cent of that money yet," agreed Escargoon nodding.

Evidently, the snail had been busy in Susie's absence putting thoughts into Dedede's head against Susie and the Haltmann Works Company. Susie knew she would have to work quickly.

"Yeah!" agreed Dedede. "Much less _per_cent."

"I'm sorry but the first payment of your percentage due was used up in your robot purchases, Your Majesty," said Susie with a bow.

"That you tricked His Majesty into buying in the first place!" Escargoon said crossing his arms staunchly. "So either you explain yourself or you're outa here, sister, cuz His Majesty doesn't have time for—"

"An eighty-five percent discount on the remodeling of Castle Dedede!" cried Susie quickly.

"Huh?" asked Escargoon and Dedede together.

Clearing her throat with a little laugh, Susie said much calmer, "I felt so terribly yesterday, as I told you, Your Majesty, and I did as you requested. Our great and wonderful President Haltmann has granted you a very generous discount on the remodeling and fixing of your castle which was destroyed by the robots we sold to you."

Escargoon raised a brow. "I thought that Hatlmann Works Company did not take any responsibility for—"

"Did I mention that any extra feature to the castle will also be free within the next three days?" Susie pressed holding up a finger and leaning very close and earnestly next to the king.

Escargoon tried again. "But—"

King Dedede growled, "Shuddup, Escargoon!"

With a slump Escargoon consented, clamping his mouth tightly shut into a terrible grimace, which seemed to cause steam to rise above his head. Then Dedede banged him over the head with his fist, and that caused at least a sort of half grin on a now otherwise stupefied face.

"What kind of free features?" King Dedede asked eagerly.

"But Your Majesty!" Escargoon implored despite being told to shut up. "She's just making an excuse to distract you to make a fool of you! Haven't you ever heard that there's no such thing as a free meal? _Caveat emptor_? Or even 'you get what you pay for?'"

"This ain't food Escargoon!" snapped Dedede. "This is real merchandise we're talking about here not Kawasaki's garbage! So keep your caviar imports to yourself!"

"_Mmph_!" growled Escargoon.

"Now show me what you mean about a remodel there, Susie!" demanded Dedede forgetting completely that he had been previously upset with the secretary.

"With pleasure, Your Majesty," bowed Susie, and although Escargoon tried a few more times to interrupt, it was only to eventually get socked in the eyes.

King Dedede was thoroughly engrossed with everything Susie showed him on her computer pad. It did not take long for him to declare under kingly decree that the entirety of Castle Dedede was going to join the modern age of space technology.

Susie felt quite satisfied. Escargoon was sulkier than ever.

"Maybe you should just _hire_ her to be your new servant, after all," he grumbled sarcastically.

Dedede laughed.

"That's a great idea, Escargoon," he said marching away to start directing renovations, "then we could get rid of you and I could use your room for a holographic Dede-dance Revolution stage."

"I'm sure his Majesty is only joking," said Susie with a titter, "so I would just like you to know that this offer extends to the rest of the castle, not just His Majesty's personal quarters. This also includes your quarters, Mr. Escargoon."

Escargoon scowled but refused to dignify her with a response. Regardless of that however, Escargoon did give in within that same day, because the automatic doors and computers on every wall and databases and comforts all started to become very enticing in spite of how much he resented it. Before lunch he told Susie that he too wanted renovations to his room. Inside himself he drooled for some of that science equipment for his own studies, especially.

At the residence of Sir Ebrum and Lady Like's there was some hesitance…

"I don't know, darling," said Lady Like, "I do think we may have to allow some of those renovations too."

"I know what you mean, dearest," admitted Sir Ebrum tapping his chin as they sat over a cup of tea on the sofas, "as much as I think our home is fine the way it is, I'm sure it will not be long before it is an eyesore, not matching the rest of the castle in the space age and all."

"Perhaps just a few renovations wouldn't hurt," said Lady Like.

Tiff who was reading a novel at the table looked up and sighed, "Do we have to?"

"I'm sorry, my dear," said Sir Ebrum, "but we'll have to at least do something to match the rest of castle. After all, the king himself decreed it."

"But the next day he might just change his mind," said Tiff, "it's the way he is. Besides, I don't one hundred percent trust Haltmann Works Company. With computers in every room how will we know whether they're gunna be spying on us or not." To herself she added under her breath, "There's still something weird going on in Wispy Woods too, and I wanted to ask Wispy about it today."

"You won't have to do your own room if you don't want to," said Lady Like.

"I suppose at least the main living and dining area should be renovated," mused Sir Ebrum after a sip of tea.

"Why do we let King Dedede make us do whatever he wants?" demanded Tiff.

"He's the king," both Lady Like and Sir Ebrum said together.

"And although I hesitate to mention it in front of your mother," Sir Ebrum added, "the only reason why I'm default prime minister and not just a cabinet minister is that the rest of the cabinet was fired long ago and some of them weren't just sent away, if you know what I mean."

"Yes, Dad," said Tiff who knew perfectly well what he meant as she had been to Dedede's torture chamber and dungeon herself more than once in her many adventures around the castle—not to mention been threatened with the death penalty a few times by Escargoon directly.

Especially with a family to be concerned about, Tiff knew that he father would not want to risk any negative attention from his part even if his children caused negative attention from the king all the time.

#

"An indoor aquarium pool!" laughed Tuff looking down at the clear shimmering water and the all the interesting things at the bottom for scuba diving if they could get a hold of any gear for it later. "This is the best thing Dedede's ever gotten!"

With a shout of "Cannon ball!" he jumped in with all his might.

He was in his swimming trunks, after all, with an aim to do just what he was doing.

Kirby jumped in after him yelling with a similar tone of voice as Tuff's, "Poyo Poy!"

As Tiff got sprinkled with the tail end of their splashes she sighed. She was not in her swimming suit and had no intention of swimming here even if it was only the principle of the thing. She crossed her arms wearily and looked around at the other children Tuff had invited over.

"What's wrong with the beach?" Tiff asked.

"Nothing!" said Tuff wading a bit after splashing Kirby playfully. "It's just this is new! Things that are new are automatically more interesting than things we get to do all the time!"

"You're just gunna get kicked out anyway," Tiff muttered.

Tuff laughed, "I'd like to see either King Dedede or Escargoon try to get us in here."

The other children laughed too at the idea of Tuff evading the king and his servant in the water. Even if both were capable of swimming, Tiff knew that Tuff was confident that he could out maneuver them like an otter from an elephant and well, a snail.

Glancing up at a giant borderless computer screen on the wall, Tiff could not help but frown. It was showing shows on Channel DDD— old reruns of Dedede and Escargoon's usual slapstick routines; they happened to be showing the ones where he tortured Dedede's Kirby puppet. Almost every room in the castle had Channel DDD going. Even from the bottom of the pool people could watch it because of the clear walls like swimming in a giant aquarium at a zoo.

Tiff was not watching the show so much as she was thinking about how much in conversation Susie would slip out things against them like she thought that the people of Dream Land were just stupid animals to her. Maybe she meant it in the best possible way about helping "primitive life forms", but Tiff seriously doubted it now. She could not help but wonder if they would soon be attractions in a zoo, after all, for Mr. Haltmann's race's entertainment once they trained the people of Dream Land to react correctly to their tricks.

She just burned thinking of that, but her thoughts were interrupted when King Dedede emerged suddenly in his own swimming trunks.

"_Wah_!" he growled throwing off his signature victory-sign sunglasses. "_ESCARGOON_! Why are these lowlife kids swimming in my pool!?"

A very grumpy Escargoon appeared from behind him.

"You heard His Majesty!" he snapped shaking his fist. "Get out of that pool!"

Somehow, unbeknownst to him; though it could be guessed that it had had something to do with Tuff he got a good splash in the face.

"_Ah_!" Escargoon cried.

After Escargoon was sopping wet and growling at Tuff who was smiling at him innocently, Kirby joined in with a small slash of his own cheerily to join the fun.

King Dedede snarled, "Get those kids out of there!"

Without moving, Escargoon closed his eyes.

"Come on, guys," said Tiff suddenly scooting off the stone ledge she had been sitting on and approaching the pool. "Just get out. It's not worth it."

"Hey!" snapped Escargoon. "We don't need your help!"

"I don't care who gets them out!" said Dedede stamping his foot. "Just get them _out_! Waddle Dees!"

"Uh oh!" said Tuff.

The other children gasped and were out of the pool in the blink of an eye. Tuff leapt out last with Kirby bounding behind as though it was all a great game. A trail of water left the pool room and Tiff almost tripped as she followed the others. King Dedede and Escargoon laugh even if she did catch herself on the stone ledge again. She tried not to look back at them as she left the room.

Once the children were long gone, Dedede was quite pleased again.

"That's more like it," he said with a nod. "Escargoon, get me some lemonade while I enjoy my pool."

"Sure thing, Your Majesty," said Escargoon.

When he returned however, Dedede had apparently forgotten his drink and was talking to Susie again about the renovations and buying a self-inflating inner tube (as if those had not been invented long ago already). Dedede certainly seemed happy with it though.

"The perfect support!" Dedede commented.

_Look at her, what a suck up, what a fake_! thought Escargoon as he glared at Susie. _I know she finds King Dedede just as much as a stupid scumbag as I do and yet just look at her. Look at her. That cheery façade, the innocent laugh, that always conveniently being there when Dedede needs her, and he soaks it all up like a big bloated sponge._

He seethed inwardly. It was enough to make him want to explode.

As Escargoon sulkily entered the pool room, he did not notice the trail of water left behind by the earlier pool raiders, and he slipped.

"Ah!" cried Escargoon.

Luckily having so much support under him being a snail as he was he was able to catch himself before he got really hurt, but unluckily the sudden jolt did make the glass of lemonade the Waddle Dees had just handed him on a tray to fall off and crash onto the floor.

With another yelp he leapt back—not just from the surprise and the fear of upsetting the king but also because no one wanted to step on broken glass in a pool room.

Dedede and Susie turned at the sharp echoing shatter the glass made as it struck the floor.

"You clumsy dope, Escargoon," growled Dedede.

"Don't—don't worry, Sire, I'll get the Waddle Dees to take care of it, right away!" Escargoon announced and quickly added, "And get you a fresh glass too!"

But just as he turned to leave, Susie said with an unperturbed shrug, "Oh, there's no need. The pool comes automatically equipped with hazard-censoring cleaners."

Even as she spoke, small hovering, disk-shaped bots slipped out from the pool walls and quickly cleaned up every spec of glass.

"Now that sure is service!" Dedede laughed.

"Yeah," grumbled Escargoon. To himself he added, "This is worse than that cleaning robot monster from Nightmare Enterprises."

"What was that?"

"Nothing, Sire," sang Escargoon in return followed by a nervous laugh. "I was just getting your fresh lemonade."

#

Later that evening, after Escargoon surveyed the renovations to his own room with unfortunate satisfaction, he found Dedede playing on the new escalator stairs. These proved in every way to be an improvement from the usual mall escalators too. Sleek, half-floating in the air, moving at adjustable speeds, and just all around pleasant to look at from a design point of view, they were admittedly masterful.

"Hey, Escargoon! Check this out!" said Dedede walking up the down escalator so that he was not going anywhere.

"That's great, Your Majesty," said Escargoon apathetically.

Though he tried to force a smile, it turned out to be a very weak and sickly one.

_As if it's any better than having a throne that can run on a track behind the walls of the castle_, thought Escargoon.

"I sure wish Susie was here all the time!" said Dedede. "It's like having my own genie 24/7!"

"It sure is, Sire," agreed Escargoon more annoyed than before as he lowered his eyes and absently looked at an non-existent nail (being a snail he didn't have any fingernails), but blinking the scowl away he cleared his throat and said, "Well, if you're done getting your exercising for the evening, you may want to know that dinner is served."

"Oh, great! What's for chow!?"

"Whatever that chef robot thing decided to cook up," grumbled Escargoon making his way to the dining room himself. "It just better cook better than Kawasaki."

Leaping over the rail to come down the down-facing escalator, Dedede hurried after Escargoon and passed him to get his supper.

"What highly-concentrated corn-syrup pod did he eat to make him so hyper?" remarked Escargoon. "I haven't seen him this energetic since say—never…"

When he got to the dining room, which was as futuristic as the rest of the castle now, he sat on his floating seat and picked away at his strangely very tasty supper. All he could think of was all those stupid cooking monsters that could have done just as well, and he glared at Susie suspiciously as he wondered if there was something wrong with this food. Would it make him hypnotized into eating more or into becoming a slave of Mr. Haltmann's? Would it make him sick or expand the cells in his body to their limit? Was it just simply poison that would kill with a deadly heartburn in the middle of the night?

Susie paid not the least bit attention or she pretended not to.

He chewed very slowly, allowing his taste buds to examine every morsel for anything suspicious as he watched for any sign of a flicker in the corner of Susie's eyes. The fact that she was eating to did nothing to persuade him of her innocence.

Then he suddenly announced: "I think with all the excitement, I've been overcome with fatigue. I think I'll turn in early if that's okay, Your Majesty."

He expected King Dedede to refuse. He usually did refuse such requests from Escargoon when he made them so openly. Most of the time when Escargoon needed some time to himself he would just slip off when the king was occupied. Although he sincerely was tired and tired of the situation at hand and would not have minded in the least going to bed early, he could not wait for that refusal, but King Dedede delayed it as he happily ate away at his meal as though he had not heard him.

After a moment of silence, Escargoon asked timidly, "Your Majesty?"

"Whaddya want?" demanded Dedede with a shrug.

"May I be excused?"

"Yeah, whatever," replied the king.

Escargoon made a face. "Are you sure? You won't be needing me to set up your bed or get your pajamas and a cup of herbal tea with honey or anything like that?"

"No," said Dedede beginning at last to sound annoyed, but only because Escargoon was pestering him, and Escargoon knew it.

"But who will do those things for you?" asked Escargoon.

Susie eyed him strangely, and it made Escargoon even more upset.

"Sire?" he asked.

"My room takes care of all that for me automagically now!" declared King Dedede. "If you wanna go to bed then go, no one's stopping you."

Escargoon was struck to the core at such a statement. The shattered glass from the pool room seemed to return to shatter a second time in his mind, but he quickly shook his head and shook the hurt expression from his face not wanting Susie to see it, after all. He quickly got up in a great huff.

In his bed chamber, he suddenly regretted not eating much for he felt pretty hungry. He took out a tin of cookies his mother had sent him and was happy to see that at least two cookies did remain. After eating both of them he got himself ready for bed and then squeezed his eyes shut so that he could not see what he had just done to space-age his own room, which he regretted doing now. The bed he had left the same, anyway, except for the mattress so at least the covers the usual ones and he held them as tightly as he closed his eyes.

But he suddenly shook his head.

"Oh," he murmured. "This won't last forever. His fads never do. Then everything will go back to normal again…"

Relaxing his hold on the covers he then allowed himself to drift into sleep with that hope.

#

Next morning he felt much refreshed. The late sun filtered in through his room just like it used to. Now that the light of day shone on everything, and his room did not look quite so changed as it had last night in the glow of a neo lava-lamp-like contraption with stars and planets inside swirling slowly about.

Once he was set for the day, he made his way to find the king. He was up a little later than usual, he suddenly realized too, and he did not want Dedede to come looking for him. He was not in his room or in the dining hall so that meant he was in the throne room, he guessed.

He pushed upon the broad, D-shaped handles and just as he entered he saw Dedede upon his throne, though of course it was sleeker now. It got under his skin just a little that Susie entered from another direction bringing something to him like a faithful dog.

Escargoon closed his eyes briefly and swallowed his irritation, but just as he opened his eyes and his mouth to give the king his best, "Good morning" King Dedede opened his own big beak at Susie's approach.

She bowed politely.

King Dedede said, "_Why if it ain't my faithful servant Susie!?"_

_Lightning struck._

#

Escargoon awoke with a start and a gasp; though there was no lightning outside his window as he looked. Still panting heavily with eyes swollen and wide, he clutched his blankets and stood upright in bed. There was a light shower underway sprinkling his windows. After a few moments he calmed himself down a little and took a glass of water, which rose to meet him of its own accord on his new nightstand. This surprised him a little at first as he was still so jumpy from the dream, but he drank the water slowly and sighed.

Then he shook his head.

"That's it!" he snapped. "I'm gunna put a stop to this once and for all! Somehow. Hmm. I just need to think."

#

Tiff did not eat much either as at her own home they had similar cooking by a similar food-making robot as the one the king had. Her mind was deep in thought about this whole Haltmann Works Company thing anyway, but she needed a place to think better for a bit and clear her head. As soon as she could she excused herself. Then quietly, she slipped out into the castle corridors.

For a long time she meandered the castle passing a Waddle Dee or two. Then at last she reached the main doors.

She made her way outside and onto the grounds, which had not been tampered with yet. The next day when the grounds would be renovated she was not looking forward to. Then there would be no place at the castle to go to escape this madness except maybe in her room. It almost made her want to move in the Kirby and Takori.

The sky looked a bit cloudy. The smell of the sea rose strong and had recently accompanied the short shower that had just passed, but a pale moon peeked through the clouds now even if Tiff guessed another shower would begin soon.

It was the sort of night she would have liked to see Meta Knight, though. She hoped he would come out of the shadows in his mysterious way and tell her something that all the distractions of the day had caused her to miss, but she did not see him. He did not appear.

Closing her eyes she sat down on the fountain ledge, and put her chin in her hands. She took a deep breath to release a heavy sigh, but just as she was about to release it, a deeper-voiced sigh released ahead of her own just loud enough to be heard over the sound of the water of the fountain. She looked up in alarm, and she saw not far away along the ledge of the fountain Escargoon sitting there with a very focused sort of look.

Tiff raised a brow. "Escargoon?"


	9. Chapter 9

JMJ

**Chapter Nine: The Pact, Made and Kaput**

With a jump and a cry of surprise, Escargoon turned to Tiff.

"Oh, it's you," he said wiping what served as his brow, which was just the top of his eye lids.

"What are you doing out here?" Tiff wanted to know.

"Waddya mean, what I am doing out here? I live here just as much as you do in case you forgot, and I have just as much a right to sit here as you do," retorted Escargoon.

Tiff frowned. "Yeah, but I would've thought you'd be with King Dedede and all the new stuff."

"Why are _you_ out here and not enjoying the new stuff?" sniffed Escargoon.

"I don't want any of it."

"_Hmm_… sounds like you," said Escargoon, and he paused as if debating about something. "Ungrateful, as usual."

"Do…_you_ not like the new remodel?" Tiff asked ignoring his last comment.

"Oh!" groaned Escargoon. "It's not that, it's Susie and the other Haltmann people. I'm guessing that's your problem too."

"Yeah, something about this whole thing is really suspicious."

"You don't have to tell me twice."

"But usually you don't seem to care about that kind of stuff," said Tiff.

"What? You think I'm too stupid to notice that Susie's just kissing up to His Majesty?"

"I meant that usually you're in on—"

But Escargoon went on as if he had not heard, "And 'why' is what I want to know? Most of this he's getting for free, and there's no way they're giving all this to us for nothing at all. If it's not money that they're after then it's something else, and I don't like it, especially since I know that they wanted us to use those robots for more than just guards. She was egging His Majesty on. She wanted the castle to get wrecked and maybe wanted to kill Kirby too. His Majesty is in danger and that means the rest of us too, and I feel like I'm the only one who cares or notices these things, but—!" Here he smiled just a little. "I should've remembered you, though."

Tiff brightened a little. It was only Escargoon, but he was better than no one, and she had felt quite alone up to this point. After a thoughtful pause she hopped off the ledge and stepped closer.

"Have you seen Meta Knight?"

"Who can see anyone in that sci-fi convention of a castle?" demanded Escargoon. "He's probably just avoiding all this and watching from his own room or some tower that hasn't been tampered with. Did you know that His Majesty is thinking of renovating his dungeons next?!"

"_Ugh_!" said Tiff, but she shook her head. "Well, Meta Knight and I had a talk not that long ago, and I really do think all this is a distraction. I'm sure he does too. He said he would be on the lookout for evidence of foul play, but he didn't show up again. I suppose that means he hasn't found anything yet."

"_Hmm_, probably," said Escargoon. "Why isn't he useful when we want him to be?"

Tiff rolled her eyes. "Well, while he's busy looking where the rest of us can't that doesn't mean that we have to sit here and do nothing."

"What do you mean?" asked Escargoon suspiciously.

"Well, we could spy on Susie ourselves."

"Hey, that's a great idea. Between you as a nosy whiz kid and me as the knowledgeable right-hand man at Castle Dedede, we should be able to catch Susie doing something rotten. What happened to that brother of yours? Why isn't he helping?"

"If I tell him we're spying on Susie, I know he'll help us. I haven't even told him about Meta Knight yet because of getting caught up in the renovations and what happened to poor Wispy just before that."

"Right, he couldn't pass up sneaking around an unsuspecting adult if I know anything about Tuff," said Escargoon like he knew exactly what he meant.

"_Hmm_," mused Tiff and she hurried around the fountain for a better view at the sleeping quarters.

Escargoon hopped off of the wall after her. "Where are you going?"

"That's Susie's room," said Tiff pointing to a specific window.

"Yeah, I have to pass it to get to mine," said Escargoon. "So what?"

"We gotta keep an eye on it," said Tiff. "The light's out now. She must be in bed."

"Or so we're supposed to believe," said Escargoon thoughtfully.

"Well, if I went to get Tuff he could help us get up to the window to see for sure. Those curtains are blocking the view, but—"

"We all know Tuff can get into anyplace locks or not," muttered Escargoon.

"Maybe I should go and wake him now."

"She's probably in there, and if she's not she could still show up at any time. It would be better to wait until morning when it's positive she'll be following around His Majesty all day."

"Yeah," said Tiff, feeling slightly awkward that Escargoon made sense, but she nodded. "Yeah, and if we wait until morning we can bring Kirby with us just in case there's something in there."

"Exactly," said Escargoon. "I'll make sure no one knows what you're up to and keep guard while you all go in there from the window. I'm not much of a climber, honestly."

"Great!" said Tiff happily. "First thing in the morning we'll meet somewhere like Kirby's house."

"Yes, Kirby's house."

"And if we don't find anything in her room that means she's probably hiding something somewhere else and we'll have to follow her."

"Hopefully by then, if that's the case, Meta Knight will just show up again."

"Hopefully," said Tiff, "but we still have a lot of stuff to do until that time comes."

"Right."

And they shook hands on it. Tiff felt quite satisfied too. At last they were getting somewhere and they had a plan, and Escargoon on their side really did put things into a better light somehow.

"Well, goodnight then," said Tiff. "Try to get some rest for tomorrow."

"You too. Set your alarm for five AM sharp."

Tiff agreed.

#

As Escargoon made for his room after parting with Tiff at the fountain, he stopped suddenly when he saw Susie some yards down the corridor in front of him heading in the same direction. He ducked around the corner behind him and watched as she opened the door and went inside her room casually enough.

He paused for a few moments longer, and then as quietly as he could he slid down towards the room and stopped a few feet away from the door and held his breath to listen. Nothing could be heard, and he was about to move on to his room, but just as he had passed her door by and was turning his head to his own doors, he thought he heard a mumble from inside her room.

He stopped again.

Now certainly one had a right to mumble to oneself inside one's own room. Maybe she had forgotten something or had hurt her finger or…no. She was talking. He also thought he could hear pauses for someone else to speak, but Escargoon did not hear anyone respond to her. That did not mean she was not having a conversation with herself; though discovering she was just crazy would have been just fine with him. As slowly and quietly as he could, Escargoon backed up to the door and listened. She was not talking so much as singing now, he realized and his eyes popped in alarm.

He frowned as he listened to Susie continue with words he made out now:

"…_Give us favors such as these!_

_All we wish for you our lord is_  
_That you never lead us wrong!_  
_Rule us all, beloved Haltmann!_  
_That we may all sing our song!"_

Clenching at the ominous words, Escargoon then knew he heard clapping, and a murmuring of a deep voice that he took as Mr. Haltmann's over a communicator, but he could not make out what he said except maybe, "…no voice is as superior as yours…" until he became indecipherable again.

"Yes, Mr. Haltmann, everything is going well," said Susie.

In a swift motion Escargoon pressed his head up against the door to see if he could hear the other voice, but he missed most of it.

"No one has questioned his whereabouts," Susie responded.

_Whose whereabouts_? thought Escargoon impatiently.

"The natives are most of them quite pleased, especially the king," said Susie. "The mechanizing of the castle is underway and it could be easily completed in the blink of an eye, inhabitants and all. Just give me the word when to proceed, Mr. Haltmann when Mecha Knight is complete."

Escargoon's eyes widened, and he managed just barely to withhold a gasp as he remembered Tiff saying that Meta Knight had disappeared. With the word "mecha" he also quickly remembered what had happened to Wispy. But they could not have actually captured Meta Knight, could they have? No more than they could make one of those "unstable" metallic parts attach to him, right? Meta Knight was too talented a guy to allow himself to get caught by these goons, right?

His heart was beginning to beat faster as he wondered also what Susie meant by "inhabitants and all."

It still could be the food. He put a hand over his stomach, suddenly feeling ill.

"All we need to do is to remove the last obstacle," he could just barely hear Mr. Haltmann say. "With one removed, the other cannot be difficult, and once that is complete…well, then the resources will be open for the taking."

No. No, it was not the food. It was what they did to Wispy. Granted that could be in the food, but if it was that easy they could have just opened a restaurant instead, but he had a good feeling that the citizens and denizens of Dream Land were part of the resources.

He glowered.

Well, she finally made her mistake, anyway, and if Mr. Haltmann truly valued her singing voice he would have to get her back on Dream Land's terms if Escargoon had anything to say about it.

Straightening himself he knocked promptly on the door.

Susie gasped, and she said very quietly as Escargoon put his head to the door again, "I apologize, Mr. Haltmann, but I must go. I'll check on Kyle's progress on my project later."

Mr. Haltmann did not answer. Apparently the communicator shut off.

He heard Susie shuffle something and then say loudly, "Yes, I'm coming."

Escargoon knocked again impatiently anyway and said in his best commanding voice, "Open up in there, Susie! You have explaining to do!"

As soon as Susie opened the door just a little, Escargoon shoved it open the rest of the way and barged into the room.

Backing up in alarm, Susie asked, "Is something wrong, Mr. Escargoon? Did something happen?"

"Yeah, something happened alright! You happened!" said Escargoon, and he laughed vilely. "I knew it! I knew it all along! The kissing up, the discounts, the robots, the Kirby, the upgrading of less-advanced species—it all falls into place now!" He thrust an accusing finger at Susie and shook it violently. "I see through all your façade now, Miss Susie!"

"You're not making any sense, Mr. Escargoon," said Susie after blinking rather blankly. "Maybe you need to lie down and have a cup of tea with honey."

"Oh, yes, I make sense to you. Don't play innocent with me. You're planning on making us all your slaves," said Escargoon. "I heard it from your own mouth, don't deny it! You were talking to Mr. Haltmann just now. I heard you, and you're gunna turn us all into metal-encased drones like you did to Wispy! Well, not on my watch, _Miss Susie_!"

"Oh, dear," said Susie putting a hand to her cheek, though her tone did not quite denote the alarm Escargoon expected so much as disappointment. "So you know everything now. I was hoping it wouldn't have to come to this."

"Ha! I bet you weren't!" Escargoon snorted.

Susie sighed. "What are you going to do?"

Escargoon paused leering suspiciously, and then he thrust out his finger again as he announced, "I'm gunna tell His Majesty right now, and if you don't end up in the dungeon it'll only be because you'll already be sentenced to the death penalty! You're coming with me, and you won't be able to talk your way outa this one, and—and you—and I—and you…" His face went pale and his finger lost its strength to keep pointing as he withdrew both hands to his chest and twiddled his fingers, which suddenly felt very hot and sweaty, "you have a gun, and I…feel really stupid right now."

Without a second's more hesitation, Susie fired. After all, there was no sense in allowing Escargoon long enough to recover himself in order to cry for help. A strange beam struck Escargoon in the head before he could so much as cringe. A tingling sensation most unpleasant vibrated through his brain causing him shudder and to squint his eyes very strangely and clench his teeth so hard that they hurt.

While he shook, Susie laughed just a little. "I'm afraid I can't let you alert anyone now, Mr. Escargoon. I must say that I was not prepared for _you_ becoming an obstacle, but now you have and you must be removed. Perhaps you've heard our song?

"_Master, crush the competition!_  
_In your presence let us stay!_  
_Yours is every star and planet_  
_Now and ever, night and day!"_

With a groggy moan, Escargoon felt his brain released from the beam, but he felt consciousness slipping fast whatever it had done to him. As Susie sang, he tried to say something, but it was like speaking while half in a dream in which nothing intelligible or loud came out. Before the verse ended he could not even hold himself upright as he sagged rather quickly in front of her. First his body sank until his face was on the floor with hands outstretched in front of him as though bowing before her might. The irony of that was the last thing that passed through his mind before he was out like a light, strangely with a goofy smile on his face as though at least his dreams took him somewhere pleasant.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Escargoon, but nothing must stand in our way," said Susie as she took out a small metal pad from her things.

She swiped it like a handheld device, and it suddenly became very large— larger enough to put a turkey platter on with a few plates encircling it, but it was meant for Escargoon. She swiped along the side of it and nudged it forward where it scooped the head-servant's unconscious form off of the floor like an egg off of a frying pan. She swiped the side again, and it followed her to be transported back to the Mother Ship where she promptly made her way along the corridors with the tray floating inches off of the ground behind her.

She stopped only briefly to ask Mr. Haltmann what should be done with the prisoner— or rather specimen. Then she continued on to her destination. When she arrived where Dr. Kyle was messing with the back of a slim, tall, and rather elegant black machine, he looked up at her idly. His eyes soon fell upon the form of Escargoon behind her.

"What is _that_?" he asked.

"The king's head-servant."

"_Egh_, what a waste," Kyle remarked after getting a good look at the quietly snoring form; the tip of the tail free from the shell moved a little with the motion of a sleeping cat while he curled up with head in his arms as he seemed to be nestling a little as from a sudden draft. "What am I supposed to do with it exactly?"

"I couldn't kill him there. What would I do with his body unless I brought him back here? So I decided that I might as well bring him back alive and be useful for something," Susie replied lightly.

"Or you just didn't have the heart to kill such a pathetic creature," teased Dr. Kyle smugly. "I can't imagine he could have been giving you that much trouble."

"_Hmph_," said Susie. "He found out. I had to do something. He might have spoiled everything if he had not been such a fool and told someone else right away. Maybe he could have gotten Kirby on his side, but instead he confronted me directly."

"Well, what do you expect?' asked Kyle. "He is, after all, only a primitive native."

The continued wry smile in Kyle's eyes unnerved Susie a little, but she pretended to ignore him as she swiped the side of the tray to keep it from following her anymore. It rested slowly on the ground in a spot out of the way for the moment. Then she went to the computer Kyle had been working on. Beyond was a wide capsule cut half way through along the side in which a rather smallish round form hovered.

"So, _what_ am I supposed to do with him specifically here?" asked Kyle pointing to snail on hand.

"He is meant for another mechanized experiment designated by the plans drawn up by the Mother Computer. Mr. Haltmann said that was what we were to do with him when I asked him," said Susie still not looking at Kyle as she examined the other unconscious form inside the capsule.

"Not that I'm questioning our great and noble president," said Kyle rolling his hand around idly and closing his eyes.

"Then don't!" said Susie tersely. "You're already in trouble from what I understand, so you had better do your job without complaint."

"Of course, Miss Susie," said Kyle now swiping the side of the tray himself so that it followed him to where the prone form of Escargoon could be encased in his own capsule.

Since the snail specimen was not being used at the moment, once the capsule encased him, a force-field like a pane of glass sheathed him on the front as well to cover him. His vitals were thus maintained inside. As soon as that force-field cover was sealed, a silent tracker glowed on a little holographic screen just above the laser pane above Escargoon's head. It showed his pulse, his respiratory status and his brainwave activity as well as options for further bodily analysis. The capsule also stiffened and straightened Escargoon into the best posture for his body. His eyelids smoothed to just barely closed, his mouth closed as his snoring halted, and his face went entirely blank. If his body needed anything, the capsule would automatically take care of it.

"Why is it taking you so long to complete the mechanizing process on him?" Susie then demanded, her full attention on the other form before her.

Kyle blinked slowly as he turned to her. Before he could even begin to speak, Susie went on, "I'm taking over this project for myself for a while, Dr. Kyle."

"Well, it was yours to begin with, but I was under the impression that you needed to keep up your façade," said Kyle. "If you stay up all night working, you might be tired in the morning."

Throwing her head into his direction, she glowered. Rattlesnakes could almost be heard rattling beneath her thick lashes and shelter of hair. Then she threw her head back to her work picking up a holographic clipboard.


	10. Chapter 10

JMJ

**Chapter Ten: A Breaking Point**

"Poyo?" asked Kirby cocking his head as he stood at Tiff's side like a child next to his mother.

"Is he coming?" asked Tiff.

The first light of dawn cast a long shadow along the grass behind her as she looked up at Takori in the sky.

"Not that I can see," said the bird.

Hovering in place as best as he could he squinted into the mists of early morning in the direction of the castle, but the whole castle looked dead asleep still except for the faint blinking of one of the many TV screens hanging on the side of a balcony.

"I'm surprised you're even lettin' him in on this," Takori snorted. "It's not like we need _his_ help, anyway, after all the help he's always been in the past!"

Then he landed on a branch of the nearby tree.

"Yeah," said Tuff putting his hands idly behind his head, "I don't think you should've trusted him in the first place, Tiff."

Before Tiff could answer, Takori laughed loudly. "If I know Escargoon then he's probably telling King Dedede and Susie the whole thing, and they'll be waiting for you all to catch red handed trying to sneak into Susie's room."

Tiff shook her head and Kirby watched her intently.

"No," she said. "I'm pretty sure he meant it. I mean, I know he's not exactly trustworthy. I'm not gunna lie, I don't like him anymore than you guys, but if he doesn't show up I don't think it's because he doesn't want to be here. He thinks that King Dedede is in more trouble than the rest of us, and he's jealous of all the attention Susie's been getting anyway."

"_Hmph_, serves him right," said Takori. "Serves the both of 'em right, I say. If they let themselves be tricked by these people like they tried to trick us all for years and years then they deserve whatever happens to them, and it will be no business of ours."

"It'll be our business if Haltmann Works Company decides to do to them and the castle what they did to Wispy Woods," Tiff retorted crossing her arms.

"If Kirby can defeat Wispy, he can defeat a metal Dedede and Escargoon with one nub behind his back, right junior?"

"Poyo," Kirby said though not quite as wholeheartedly as he might have.

How much he understood of the conversation was difficult to tell for certain, but Tiff knew that he understood at least the seriousness of it.

"Look one more time, Takori, please," said Tiff politely.

Takori rolled his eyes. "Oh, alright, fine, but this is the last time."

As he took flight again he muttered, "Watching for Escargoon, what's this world coming to. Now watching _out_ for him, I would understand, but no one cares about my opinion."

"Well, do you see him?" asked Tuff.

After pausing quietly and looking around in the direction of Castle Dedede he shook his head, "Nope! No sign of anyone."

"I have a bad feeling about this," said Tiff rubbing her chin.

"But everything looked pretty normal when we left," said Tuff. "I mean, besides the remodel of the castle and everything, but all the Waddle Dees were up and acting normal, and Mom and Dad were still sleeping in bed normal. I think I even heard King Dedede snoring in his room."

But Tiff was not listening. She was looking in the direction of the castle herself with her hand still lingering under her chin. Then she began to pace.

"Well, you wanna go check on him in his room?" demanded Tuff.

Tiff sighed.

"Well, we can, but then we'll have to be careful," she said. "Takori will have to take Escargoon's place as lookout."

"What?" said Takori. "Why me?"

"Because you're small and no one expects to see you at the castle?" suggested Tuff with a shrug.

"Right, and if he's not in his room…" Tiff said.

"Yeah?" asked Tuff.

"I'm pretty sure that means that Susie really is up to no good."

As they returned to the castle with Takori and Kirby, Tiff and Tuff led the way quietly to Escargoon's door. Tuff tried one of the latch knobs. It was not locked. Quietly he pushed it open and peaked inside. Tiff peaked above him, Kirby peaked below him, and Takori stood on Kirby's head and arched his neck around the side of the door.

"Escargoon?" Tiff called in a quiet voice.

"Looks empty to me," said Takori.

"_Shh_, Come on," whispered Tiff.

"Poyo," whispered Kirby.

Tuff nodded.

They slipped inside, and Tiff closed the door behind them.

Escargoon's book shelves and work tables appeared untouched save for the high tech new gizmos and equipment from Haltmann Works Company, but everything was neatly arranged. The light fixtures were new and the nightstand was robotic. Looking back at the door Tiff saw a very high tech lock that might even have been able to keep King Dedede out. One of the options on the little holographic screen was "blast shield". One of those new holographic TVs was glowing in the wall too, and a holographic globe replaced his old one in the far right-hand corner. There was no sign of a struggle that Tiff could see at first.

"He's probably already up causing trouble," remarked Takori fluttering up onto the bed post.

Tiff's eyes narrowed onto the bed covers. Maybe it was long shot, but judging by how neat and tidy the room always was and just knowing Escargoon, it would be unlikely that he would get up without making his bed if it was just a normal morning. She shook her head at the mess of covers and the upset pillow.

"I don't think he came back here after he talked to me last night."

"What do you mean, Tiff?" Tuff asked.

She pointed out the bedding.

Tuff crossed his arms. "So?"

The light of morning trickled in upon golden beams through the windows with a clear view of the sea between the half closed curtains. Although Tiff knew that ominous feelings did not always mean anything, she could not shake the idea that there was something eerie about how normal it looked. It was as if the normalcy was a façade just as much as Susie was, and the more she thought about the façade of Susie, the more she felt rather ill.

It was not like any trick that had befallen Dream Land before to her knowledge. Susie's apparent prompt, gentle nature could have fooled anyone. Still a part of Tiff at that moment could not help but hope that somehow Susie was not in on any foul play even if the company was sort of like Mr. Chip, but Susie this seemed deeper than that incident. Tiff could see no way something as severe as a kidnapping by Haltmann Works Company could go on without Susie knowing about it—perhaps two kidnappings unless instead of having been kidnapped both Escargoon and Meta Knight had been…murdered.

Tiff gulped.

"So! Now what are we supposed to do?" demanded Takori snapping her back to the present. "He's obviously not here."

"Let's check Susie's room," Tiff said, "and this time, Takori, you stand watch."

"Right."

With that uneasy feeling still in her mind, she suddenly felt a prickle of fear when she realized that Kirby could not be seen among them.

"Kirby?" she called.

"Poyo?" Kirby asked poking his head out from leaning under Escargoon's bed near the nightstand.

"Kirby what are you doing under there?" Tiff demanded.

"Maybe he found something," said Tuff.

Looking very disappointed, Kirby held up an empty tin. Upon further inspection the others saw cookie crumbs tumbling to one side as Kirby tipped it.

"Figures that even with all this espionage, Kirby's still only thinking of his stomach," remarked Takori.

Tuff snickered.

Tiff smiled too. At least Kirby acting normal seemed to encourage her if sunlight filtering in through a window did not.

"Come on, Kirby," said Tiff gently, "remember, we're supposed to be finding out what happened to Escargoon and Meta Knight. We're going to Susie's room next."

Kirby looked up at her with a puckered brow at the mention of Meta Knight, and he nodded as he set down the tin and scooted upright again.

Then as everyone left the room and closed the door behind them, they hurried to Susie's room. This time, first Tiff knocked upon the door.

No answer.

"Try it," whispered Tuff.

Tiff turned the latch. "It's locked."

"Well, then you try climbing out on the outside," said Takori. "Too bad you don't all have wings."

"Well, that was the original plan," said Tiff, "but now I'm not so sure, especially since it's broad daylight now."

"Well, I can pick the lock," announced Tuff smugly as he pulled out a pin from a pocket in his pants. "These old castles have terrible locks."

"Poyo! Poyo!" said Kirby suddenly tapping Tiff on the arm.

"Just a minute, Kirby," said Tiff.

Instantly, Tuff put his pick to the lock and after some time messing around with it, he said, "Hmph. It wasn't locked."

"Oh, she must have one of her own locks," said Tiff.

"Yeah, like the one in Escargoon's room," Takori declared.

"Right," said Tiff.

"Then are we're gunna do the window idea, after all?" asked Tuff.

But before anyone could answer him they all stopped suddenly as they heard a loud yelling from below. It was a very familiar one too— the boom of the king himself. Faint thought it happened to be from this far away, when they held their breaths they made out: "Where's that lousy slug when I need him!"

"Looks like King Dedede doesn't know where Escargoon is either," said Tiff in a hushed voice. "Just like I was afraid of."

"Well, are we going to climb up into the window or not?" Tuff asked crossing his arms.

"No, let's go see if Susie's with King Dedede first," said Tiff.

At once they set off down the corridor again and down the escalator. They were about halfway down when they saw King Dedede bursting from the dining room. Seconds later he noticed them coming down.

"Hey!" he demanded. "Have any of you twits seen that no good lazy slug Escargoon?"

Tuff shook his head.

"Not a clue," said Takori.

But Tiff frowned. This was no time to keep secrets.

"I think I know what happened to him," she said even though it was a little unnerving to be on a one way track headed for that angry bear of a penguin's form.

At the bottom of the escalator Tiff half expected Dedede to grab her, but he only gave a strange leer to Takori now resting on her head before leaning uncomfortably close to her face.

"Whatchyu talking about, girly?" he growled.

"Susie and the Haltmann Works Company," said Tiff. "Escargoon was going to help me unmask them, and now he's disappeared just like Meta Knight. He's not in his room. We just checked, and he didn't meet us at the meeting spot."

"He was conspiring with the likes of you?" Dedede snapped. "And whaddya mean Meta Knight's missing too? Where's his cronies Sword and Blade?'

"I think I saw Sword and Blade yesterday. I'm guessing they went out to find Meta Knight. Meta Knight was going to spy on Susie, and I haven't seen him since he told me," said Tiff boldly. "Escargoon must have went to spy on her without us too."

"And the same thing that happened to Meta Knight must have happened to him too!" cut in Takori now fluttering in Dedede's face. "And you just been sitting on your fat lazy butt and letting that metal girl walk all over you like a chump the whole time as they take over your stinking castle!"

"Takori!" snapped Tiff. "That's not gunna help!"

"Well, he's right, you know," muttered Tuff under his breath.

King Dedede meanwhile growled and swiped at Takori, but the bird was too fast and zipped upwards towards the ceiling.

"We don't have time for this! We have to confront her right now!" shouted Tiff. "King Dedede, where is Susie?"

"How should I know where she is?!" demanded Dedede very angry now. "I was just about to ask Escargoon, but if you're telling me that that Susie and her Haltmann Company was trying to make a dupe out of King Dedede, she's gunna be found and I'm gunna make her answer for it!"

With that he spun around and stormed away with his crimson robes bouncing behind him as he growled, "Where's my mallet!?"

"No, wait!" cried Tiff. "We gotta—" and although she was just about to run after him, Takori suddenly swooped into her face.

"Wait!" he said, "Meta Knight and Escargoon aren't the only ones gone missing. Now Kirby's gone too!"

Tiff gasped. Both she and Tuff turned around.

No Kirby.

"Oh, no!" Tiff cried.

#

Kirby had not been idle since he tried to get Tiff's attention when they were picking Susie's lock. He had been trying to tell her that he thought he had just seen Susie pass down another corridor after she had paused to see what they were doing. He did not have time to try to explain things to Tiff, so he left the company to see for himself.

Quickly he bounded after where he thought he had seen Susie disappear and, yes, it had been Susie. He was about to call out to her when he too heard Dedede booming below. He paused and then hurried again after Susie. Susie looked over her shoulder once, but otherwise pretended not to notice him as she promptly went down a dark corridor and made for what was a servants' passage (used now only by the Waddle Dees unless Tiff and Tuff were sneaking about) behind an old tapestry. There were no Waddle Dees now, but after Susie closed the door behind her, Kirby opened the door again and called down to her, "Poyo!"

Susie did not answer but Kirby could see very strange wires or tubes that were not in the castle anywhere before. They pulsed with an energy and a light that Kirby did not like. Still he pressed on bravely not sure exactly what he would do when he caught up with Susie. He was not even sure exactly whether Susie was on his side or an enemy's, but he determined to catch her. He could not see her anymore, but he could hear her humming the Haltmann theme from the advertisements and the tune led him downwards.

After winding around these passages with strangely not a Waddle Dee in sight save for a few sleeping against the walls that did not wake up when he passed by, Kirby at last made it to a large lower-level chamber, and one that he had been to before. It was a bit a like a hanger, but he knew that it had at least been used once to house that giant firework thing with which King Dedede and Escargoon played ring around the rosy with him and the others until the game got mean like Dedede's games often did.

Nothing was in the chamber now except for Susie and more of those wires that he could perceive. She stood as though she had been expecting him for a long while and she looked very prompt and professional, he thought.

"Kirby," she said casually enough so that Kirby felt it okay to approach her. "It's nice to see you. I would like to tell you a little story. Would you like that?"

"Poyo?" asked Kirby cocking his head.

He did not feel too sure about this whole thing, and Susie did look a little eerie in the glow of the pulsing wires.

"Not long ago I met someone. This person impressed me very much. He was strong, bold, daring— everything that you could hope a knight to be. I was so impressed, Kirby, that I, well…" she shrugged. "I gave him a complete remodel just like the castle he serves under." She laughed then in her tinkling way.

Kirby followed Susie's gaze upwards, and in the high crevices of the stone's décor above a pillar with some image of a previous king in the short line of Dedede's, he saw to his surprise a person whose armor reminded him very much of Meta Knight's except much bulkier and advanced. He was shaped very much like Meta Knight too.

Kirby blinked with uncertainty.

"Let me introduce you to the newly created Mecha Knight," said Susie holding a hand proudly up to her fighter, and his apparent one eye glowed keenly before leaping in between Susie and Kirby with perfect feline grace. "Far superior to the prototype."

Kirby backed up a pace.

"I will let you two get reacquainted," said Susie calmly brushing her hair back a little. "And there will be no more obstacles to the Mother Computer and the Star Dream."

Here she laughed. It was not her pretty tinkling laugh either but a downright very unpleasant sort of laugh— a deranged laugh. Loudly, it echoed in all directions and Kirby shifted his eyes briefly to where their reverberations bounced just in case there was anything else he should know about that was ready to face him, but he still was not sure about the figure in front of him.

Was it really Meta Knight, his role model, his master, his sensei? Or did it just look like him?

"Poyo?" Kirby demanded of the Mecha Knight.

"_Hmph_," was all the figure responded with, but it definitely sounded like Meta Knight's voice.

Kirby would have said more, but it was at that moment that Mecha Knight attacked with a sudden grappling clawed hand that was not one of his natural limbs and moved quite abruptly. Kirby was not able to move fast enough to avoid being blown clear across the wide dark chamber, through the doorway and into the corridor wall in a very similar position as the first time he had entered this chamber with Tuff a few years back; facing this strange enemy that was Meta Knight but not was far more of an unbearable experience than Dedede being mean and rough with his toys.

As Kirby fell to the floor, Mecha Knight already leapt from where he had clutched to a wall and was coming at him again. Hurt and confused though he was, Kirby used every ounce of skill and strength he possessed to get out of the way, and just barely did he escape the blow as he began running through the halls to the main level. Where Susie had disappeared to he had not the slightest idea, but he had no time to think about her at the moment.

#

Susie held up that computer pad that she always carried with her like a secretary with a clipboard. For the past few days she had used it to show merchandise, directions, and commercials to her customers, but as she swiped this time and made her holograph screen appear, there was nothing fun or colorful about it. It looked like a screen from a war room. Her face, admittedly looked very warlike too as she hovered shiftily behind a wall in the main level of the castle.

She had cleared away some time ago from the mess that would result with Mecha Knight and Kirby. After all, they would probably be destroying the foundations of the castle before long. Her escape route was easy to access seeing as she stood only some yards away from a garden exit.

"Time for the final phase of the remodel of Castle Dedede," she said as she reached out to touch a holographic button on her screen, but just as she was about to touch it something very large and very heavy swung in her direction. A furious growl accompanied it.

More prepared for war than she appeared in her cute makeup and neat secretary outfit, she leapt deftly out of the way of that mallet leaving its user to release a growl in further rage.

"You ain't touching a stone of my castle, you powder-puff hunk of metal!" snarled Dedede

Again he swung his mallet and ended in hitting a pillar as with a slight gasp Susie leapt back again. Dust shook from castle, and it was dust from the stone itself. A third time he swung and slammed a border edge of a holographic television screen.

It sparked and sizzled, but Dedede did not pay much heed to it, with his eyes blazing at the elusive pixie. In fact it seemed to add to the dramatic effect and gave him more resolve and appropriate atmosphere as he took a leap with an aim to crush Susie flat with his mallet or his feet or simply a body slam, which would have probably been enough for such a small slim figure as Susie's compared to the great weight and bulk of Dedede. She stood trapped against a pillar too. No escape it seemed, but Susie still had a trick up her sleeve that he was not prepared for.

With a quick swipe, she was propelled upwards very fast. As she landed behind him before Dedede could recover from his surprise and from the crumbling stones which fell on his head, she pulled out the same gun she had fired at Escargoon the night before. She fired just in time for Dedede to see it. At first a look of great fear took him.

Then of course he was buzzed in the brain so could not respond with anything but reflexive involuntary movement for a few seconds. Eyes bulged and teeth clenched. He still held onto his mallet, though. When the fuzz ended he shook his head and blinked woozily, but as he saw that he was not severely injured he tried to take up his mallet again.

"That's it, Susie!" he snarled.

Then the floor beneath them heaved, and in his woozy state Dedede dropped his mallet and fell back against the wall. Susie slid back but managed to keen an agile pose as Kirby and Mecha Knight burst onto the scene.

Kirby already looked battered and bruised. He needed something to fight back with, and the tumbling mallet was just what Kirby needed. When he saw it he could almost hear Tiff shouting at him to suck it up, which he quickly did. With renewed energy he could face Mecha Knight now as Hammer Kirby. Triumphantly he faced Mecha Knight then and burst him through the garden door. He chased after him.

Now in silence, Dedede managed to force himself onto his feet. He did not seem to notice Susie standing right next to him as he blinked at the gaping hole where the door used to be.

"My castle…!" he moaned throwing back his head, and then he fell forward flat on his face very heavily.

Susie promptly swiped another sleek metal sheet which transformed into a hovering tray. She pressed a few buttons on it this time to send it to the roof where it would be picked up by a reverse transporter to the Mother Ship. Then with a scowl on her face she went to her computer pad again to detonate the final mechanizing of Castle Dedede and everything else that had been sold in Dream Land.


End file.
